Where the World Goes When I Close My Eyes: June 2009

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I Told Ya'll What Was Gonna Happen!!!

That's right!!! 300 posts in June... I made a goal and made it happen... it's been a crazy month, B but I actually did it... in celebration of doing that, I'm throwing up my favorite posts of the month...

Like always, I wanna thank all the people who read this blog on a daily basis... July won't be as busy as this month... LOL... but I still plan to keep bringin' ya'll the most interesting, funny, weird things I came across or think of... you already know what it is...

Ya'll be easy...

Double-You-Tee-Eff #76

Duke Official Tries to Sell His 5-Year-Old Son for Sex

This hits so close to home (literally) because it's in my backyard of Durham... this type of shit is just OUT THERE... I feel so bad for this little boy... you get adopted into a family just for them to turn you into some type of sex slave at five years old? That's insane man... what is wrong with people? I just really can't figure out...

Too Much Booty...?

Is there a such thing as too much booty? Yes... is this one of those instances? No, no, it is not...

LOL... My Mom is a Trip...

So today, my mom sent out her first text message ever... she was so excited... something that I've been doing for YEARS, my mom has finally done at the ripe old age of 41... and at first I thought it was funny that she felt such a sense of accomplishment but then I thought... well damn, in 15 years, what technological advances will be made that might be difficult for me?

By then I'm sure there will be a Playstation 6 or some shit and I'll be too old to get what's going on... LOL... TVs will probably be paper thin by then but still have a screen that's even more lifelike than they already have... who knows what the Internet will be like then (if it's even still the Internet...) Hopefully we have flying cars by then though... LOL... I can't even imagine what type of cell phones we'll have by then...

But now that I think about it, I'm a bit of a technology buff meaning most technological advances are dope to me so I guess I won't fall too far behind...

Taking a Shit in Front of a Loved One

This is vaguely related to the Things You Would Do for Someone You Love, but I got some really bad relationship advice today... I was told that you know you really love somebody when they can take a shit in front of you without a problem...

Motherfucker, say what?

In what planet is this type of shit ok? It's bananas to think that I need to observe someone taking a shit in order to know just how much I REALLY love them... I love my mama to death but I'm not trying to watch her drop a deuce... so I think it's pretty silly that my ability to suck it up and watch somebody take a shit is the barometer for love... that's utterly ridiculous... I don't even like people to KNOW I'm taking a shit much less having somebody in there while I'm taking one...

Just my thoughts...

Just Copped

You already know what it is...

Doing Laundry Sucks Ass...

...that is all...

Holy Fucking Shit!

Xbox 360 just shat all over the Nintendo Wii... can you imagine a boxing game with this shit? Technology is just getting scary, B... but I want this!!!

Hilarious...

This was the funniest thing I saw today... first off, if this had been a black dude, it would have been 26 seconds long and he would've gotten shot in the face for resisting arrest... secondly, all that singing, he should have been tased way before three minutes... but real talk, my homie DIPPED at the end... LMAO... they didn't even bother chasing him... that nigga was out... these policemen need to turn in their damn badges...

Double-You-Tee-Eff #75

Neither Michael Jackson nor Debbie Rowe are the Biological Parents

Ok, you know how you'll have a movie surrounding a death/funeral... and in the days before the funeral, you find out so many secrets and everytime I'm sitting there like "Yeah, right... there's no way in hell all these secrets could be going on and NOBODY knows..." then I was over on Bossip and came across this... so many things are coming out now but even I didn't expect this... and for the past few days, Nicole has been talking about how they don't look anything like him... guess she was right... bananas...

This Dude Must Be Raw as Hell...

8th Grader Signs with University of Tennessee

Apparently, this dude hasn't even played high school football yet and he's already secured a football scholarship with UT... that's bananas... I remember National Signing Day when I was in high school and wishing I could've been a part of it... (focusing more on football is the only thing I would change about HS besides working harder on my coursework and going to senior prom...) and this dude already has a scholarship four years ahead of time? All I know is, in 2013, this dude better wreck shit...

Cybersex Prank #12

Courtesy of NT

Girl: Hi
Boy: hello
Boy: who is this?
Girl: just a someone?
Boy: A someone I know?
Girl: nope
Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
Girl: well sorrrrrry
Girl: I just wanted to chat with you
Boy: why?
Girl: nevermind your an asshole
Boy: Hey wait a minute
Girl: yes?
Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
Girl: paranoid?
Boy: yes
Girl: of what?
Girl: me?
Boy: No. I'm in hiding.
Girl: LOL
Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me!
Boy: This shit is serious!
Girl: What are you hiding from?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: gimme a fuckin' break
Boy: I'm serious.
Girl: I don't get it
Boy: The cops are after me.
Girl: For what?
Boy: I'm wanted in three states
Girl: For???
Boy: It's kind of embarrasing.
Boy: I had sex with a turkey.
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You are fuckin' sick.
Boy: Send me your picture.
Girl: why?
Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.
Girl: One of what?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: I'm not a cop i told you
Boy: Then send me your picture.
Girl: hold on
Boy: Hurry up.
Boy: Are you there?
Boy: Fuck you, cop!
Girl: Hey sorry
Girl: I had to do something for my mom.
Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Boy: Weren't you!?
Girl: thats not it
Boy: Then what?
Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Boy: Most cops aren't
Girl: IM NOT A FUCKIN' COP YOU DICKHEAD!
Boy: Then send me the picture.
Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?
Boy: Just send it through here.
Girl: alright *PIC*
Girl: Did you get it?
Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.
Girl: That was me back in may
Girl: I've lost weight since then.
Boy: I hope so
Girl: what?!?
Girl: that hurt my feelings.
Boy: Did it?
Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
Girl: yes
Boy: Alright let me find it.
Girl: kks
Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*
Girl: this isn't you.
Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!
Girl: You don't look like that.
Boy: How the hell do you know?
Girl: cause your profile has another picture.
Boy: The profile pic is a fake.
Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.
Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
Girl: Go fuck yourself
Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.
Girl: you hurt me.
Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Boy: Why would I do that?
Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you
Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
Girl: FUCK YOU!!!
Boy: You'd break both of his legs.
Girl: You're a fucking asshole!
Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.
Girl: No you aren't
Boy: You're right. I'm not.
Boy: HAARRRRR!
Girl: I'm done with you
Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.
Girl: I'm putting you on ignore
Boy: Wait a sec
Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.
Boy: Wanna start over?
Girl: No
Boy: I'll eat your pussy
Girl: You'll what?
Boy: You heard me.
Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.
Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
Boy: I get excited in different ways.
Girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
Girl: I don't know
Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
Girl: I'm afraid to
Boy: Why?
Girl: cause
Boy: cause why?
Girl: well lets see
Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
Girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
Girl: I didn't say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
Girl: I guess so.
Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
Boy: Are you willing?
Girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
Girl: ???
Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Boy: ok?
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You can't be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy: It's my fantasy.
Girl: this is retarded
Boy: Do you want it or not?
Girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
Girl: sure
Boy: Ok. Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
Girl: mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
Girl: Har
Boy: You gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture was really bad.
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussyget more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Girl: mmmmmm you are good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Boy: going limp
Girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
Girl: this is stupid
Boy: ...still limp
Boy: Do it!
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to lick your nipples.
Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your titties.
Girl: WTF?
Boy: They stink really bad.
Girl: OMG STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass!
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
Girl: YOURE A FUCKIN' PYSCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a fuckin' candy apple...
Boy: I kick you in the face!
Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Boy: Your parrot flys away.
Boy: ...going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

Happy Birthday Jailyn!!!

Ayo, I'm sending out a SPECIAL happy birthday to my little nephew Jailyn who turns one today... (I was gonna throw up some pictures but I can't find any online and I'm too lazy to scan the one I have in my wallet...) I know I'll miss the party this year but next year, we gonna do it big lil' homie...

Monday, June 29, 2009

Hardwork's Random Fact of the Day

The letter J was the last letter added to the English Alphabet. Before that, the letter I was used in its place. U was the second last letter added, and usually replaced by V.

Raisin Bran Extra!

This cereal will have your guts singing a sad song... trust me on this one...

Iran

I feel bad for this post just because I know it's MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD late and I'm usually on my political grizzy... but I just found out what the deal is going on Iran... I remember seeing some rioting and people protesting last week, but I never actually read up on it...

Well, today, I finally did and I must say, I can understand their pain... for Ahmadinejad to have stolen the election like that, it's reminiscent of George W. Bush stealing the election from Gore a few years back... bananas... I honestly think, something like this would have happened in the US if Obama had lost last November... the Iranians were really looking at Mousavi in the same type of light it seems and it's unfortunate that they have to deal with that situation...

Double-You-Tee-Eff #74

You already know I'm not sayin' shit...

Lemon - "Where I'm From"

Lemon will always be dope to me because I feel like we have the same type of style… I feel like we both appeal to that hood audience and we speak the truth how we see it…

Cybersex Prank #11

Courtesy of NT

Sajad: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Sajad: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from C&A. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of madras sauce on it from dinner...and it smells funny.
Sweethart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Sajad: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Sajad: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Sajad: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Sajad: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Sajad: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Sajad: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Sajad: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breast. My nipples are erect for you.
Sajad: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Sajad: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Sajad: I suddenly sneeze. Your breast are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Sajad: I'm so sorry; Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Sajad: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Sajad: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Sajad: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Sajad: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Sajad: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Sajad: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Sajad: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Sajad: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Sajad: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Sajad: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Sajad: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other. Sajad: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Sajad: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Sajad: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Sajad: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Sajad: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Sajad: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Sajad: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Sajad: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Sajad: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Sajad: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Sajad: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Sajad: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Sajad: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Sajad: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Expand Your Vocabulary: Vigilante

vig⋅i⋅lan⋅te [vij-uh-lan-tee]
-NOUN

*a member of a vigilance committee.

*any person who takes the law into his or her own hands, as by avenging a crime.

LMAO

Get 'em Jay!!!

Jay-Z - "Death of Autotune"

If the rest of BP3 is like this, consider it an instant cop...

Ayo...

That's clean, B...

Cybersex Prank #10

Courtesy of NT

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
Bloodninja: Yeah, I just like fighting movies.
Partner6: So whats with the *Ninja*
Bloodninja: Uh, It's cause I'm into the kung fu gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
Bloodninja: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
Bloodninja: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
Bloodninja: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
Bloodninja: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
Bloodninja: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
Bloodninja: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
Bloodninja: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
Bloodninja: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: What the fuck?!?
Bloodninja: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women...
Bloodninja: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipshit.
Bloodninja: I whimper to myself...
Bloodninja: please don't shoot me

R.I.P. Billy Mays

Damn, everybody's passing away...

I Know This Sounds Crazy...

...but does anybody else think about how they would murder someone? Or how they would rob a bank? I mean, don't get it fucked up; I don't plan on killing anyone or robbing anybody's bank but it always seems to pop in my head from time to time... I do know how I would murder someone and dispose of the body if I had to (I'm certainly not about to incriminate myself by revealing it here... LOL... I'm smarter than that) but I'm still working on the bank thing... there's just too many variables there that could go wrong... I must say, that the only plan that I thought that was really smart was that Spike Lee movie (the name escapes me at the moment) where they ran in, made everyone dress in the same clothes and then they built that little thing in that supply room so he could just walk out days later...

That's fucking genius... nobody would ever think to do that...

My plan is a little less sophisticated than that... and I really don't think it would work anywhere except at maybe this one bank in particular in Raleigh (again, not going to incriminate myself...) and that's only because it's kinda small... I don't think they have much gwap circulating through that jawn to make it worth it anyway... ok, I'm done now... LOL...

Ya'll be easy...

Double-You-Tee-Eff #73

Michael Jackson's Accuser Says "MJ Never Touched Me"

I heard about this a few days ago but I wasn't going to touch on this until somebody reputable like CNN reported on it or something but I'm going to offer some insights anyway... if it's true, that's straight up and down bullshit... non-fiction... I, for one, never thought he was fucking around with little kids anyway... everytime I would hear a joke about it, I never thought it was all that funny because I didn't think it was true... and now for this to come out, I really think it's bullshit... they've ruined his legacy, B... the last few years, all you hear about is MJ fucking around with little boys, his nose, his skin, little dumb shit like that... and while his skin and his nose are simply just teasing, the pedophile stuff is what has been the most damaging... and the media has been on my nerves even more the past few days simply because they're acting like they're so sad that he's gone when so many of these same outlets have been poppin' shit about MJ since '95... it just doesn't sit well with me, but I'm not in the media so I guess it's not a whole lot I can do...

But to stay on topic, if this is true, dude and his dad need to be put in jail... there HAS to be some type of law against this... and it's not even about the money, it's just the fact that they fucking slandered MJ... and just because he's not here to defend himself, doesn't mean this dude shouldn't be held accountable...

Mary Mary

I know it's wrong but everytime I see Mary Mary on TV, I can't help but think "Damn, they are sexy as fuck!" For those that don't know, they're a very popular gospel group and I don't know if it's because they've devoted their lives to the Lord or what but as soon as I think that, it's always followed by guilt... LOL...

I can't be the only one...

Cybersex Prank #9

Courtesy of NT

Isuzoom: Hey,what's up?
victim: Hey hon, you ready?
Isuzoom: Yeah, i guess so, never done this before.
victim: Well what turns you on?
Isuzoom: cars
victim: I like cars too. I walk up to your car and kiss the closed window
Isuzoom: I roll down the window and wipe off the smudge.
victim: I ask you for a ride and get in.
Isuzoom: Did you wipe your feet?
victim: Yeah, I guess. I lean over and unbutton your pants while kissing your neck
Isuzoom: I rev the engine by mistake.
victim: ooh, excited? I reach into your boxers.
Isuzoom: Underoos
victim: Wut?
Isuzoom: I wear underoos.
victim: ookay. I reach down and grab your manhood. You like that?
Isuzoom: My foot slips of the clutch at 4,000 RPMs and the stage 3 grabs the aluminum flywheel so hard that my all 4 potenzas burn out and you are thrown back in your seat.
victim: I have no Idea what you just said.
Isuzoom: I stop the car, pop the hood and get out.
victim: I follow you??
Isuzoom: I open the hood and grab you around the waist.
victim: Mmmm, now we're talking
Isuzoom: I put you on the upper radiator support and caress your upper strut mounts.
victim: What?
Isuzoom: Yeah baby. Then I take my #1 piston and stick it in your exhaust pipe. You Idle loudly and I can hear your intake noise through your cone filter.
victim: This is a little weird.
Isuzoom: You rev loudly as I play with the butterfly on your throttle body.
victim: I'm going now.
Isuzoom: Fuel reaches my 450cc injectors as you carress my rising-rate fuel pressure regulator.
victim: HELLOO??!?!?!
Isuzoom: Yeah baby, we hit redline as I inject my nitrous into your fuel port.
victim: Bye Retard!!
Isuzoom: I slap your rear bumper as the compression drops in my cylinder. Was it good for you?
Isuzoom: Baby?
Isuzoom: Hello?

Cybersex Prank #8

Courtesy of NT

I.F.: My dick is hard you ready to jump aboard?
1hOttYeVe: oh yhea im so wet right now
I.F.: Why you just shower?
1hOttYeVe: no im wet for you
I.F.: Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator shit you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it.
1hOttYeVe: What the fuck are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?
I.F.: I do! Sorry...I just didnt know why you were wet...then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on you...
I.F.: Im sorry lets continue!
1hOttYeVe: alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest
I.F.: I pop like 16 boners
1hOttYeVe: what the fuck!
I.F.: what?

Sunday, June 28, 2009

What the BET Awards Should've Been Like...

So I actually watched the BET Awards tonight, yeah, surprised me too... and I must say that, it was entirely too long and had way too many half-assed performances... Keri Hilson was aiiiight, Lil' Wayne's performance was completely ass, Don Cornelius was on the stage entirely TOO DAMN LONG and Drake should have done his whole song... if I would have been in charge, this is what would have happened:

MJ Tribute by Jamie Foxx, Ne-Yo, Chris Brown & Usher.
Death of Autotune Performance by Jay-Z.
World Premiere D.O.A. Video by Jay-Z.
Credits.

I'm just sayin'...

Cybersex Prank #7

Courtesy of NT

I.F.: You ready yet? Im bearing to go!
SexyKarla17: Yhea im slipping out of my clothes right now, what do you look like?
I.F.: a Kodiac bear
SexyKarla17: ?
I.F.: Im soft naked, fuzzy and waiting for you to come mount me
Sexykarla17: Oh I love cute fuzzy bears, I walk up and get on top of you stroking your soft hair, kissing you gently as my move my way down your stomach
I.F.: I growl to warm you my cubs are near
Sexykarla17: huh?
I.F.: Bears get fuckin pumped when anyone is near their cubs!
Sexkarla17: yhea hehe dont be silly..
Sexykarla17: I love how you growl as I continue to kiss you, while taking off your pants.
I.F.: Bears dont wear pants and you should cover yourself in Honey now
Sexykarla17: hehe you would love to lick that off me huh. I pour honey all over my warm wet body waiting for you to start licking it off me slowly
I.F.: I sniff the air to see where the sweet scent of the honey is coming from, while slowly snorting and walking towards you
I.F.: I Growl again, and start to bite you
Sexykarla17: Yhea that feels good..ooooo...not too hard now
I.F.: I bite harder peeling flesh from your stomach, and look up into your eyes to show you my mouth dripping with your warm blood mixed with honey, I then I let my cubs rip apart your limbs and play with you like a ragdoll.
Sexykarla17: what the fuck?
I.F.:uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh and im spent.

Are You Serious?

LOL... I'm mad late on this one but apparently, lil' homie's mom cancelled his XBL so he decided to have a tantrum... kids are a trip... leave it to the little brother to videotape the shit...

What Would You Do...??

What would you do if you came across someone you didn't know being killed or beaten? Would you jump in it, run away and/or call the police???

Me personally, it would depend on the situation... if it was a dude being jumped or something, I think I would just be easy... I'd call 911 and tell them to send an ambulance, but even still, I can't imagine hoppin' in that shit if I didn't know him...

If it was a woman and a guy fighting, like literally, he was whupping her ass and she wasn't trying to defend herself, I'd hop in it... because at that point, I feel like it's not even fair... and he's going to kill her if I don't stop in it... there's a big risk in this because a lot of the time, people will call the police on YOU for trying to help... but I'd feel real fucked up if I could have done something and then I found out later, she died or something...

If it's a woman and a guy fighting, and they're both just scrapping, I wouldn't even jump in it... I'd call the jakes but that would be the extent of it...

What about you? What would you do in a situation like that?

Remember B2K???

Wonder what they're doing these days...??? LOL...

16 & Pregnant...

So me and Nicole are watching this show and while I understand that they are young and poor, why did the young homie buy her an engagement ring from Wal-mart of all places? That shit cost $21.40?

$21.40

This isn't even about them buying a cheap ring, it's simply that he bought such a ridiculously and disgustingly cheap ring... your engagement ring should NOT cost less than a fucking 3-topping pizza... I went to the grocery store today and spent more on magazines than this dude did on her ring... tomorrow, I'm going to cop Fight Night Round 4... I could've bought three of those rings with the money I'm going to spend on this game... engagement rings should not cost less than a trip to the movies... LOL...

Ok, I'm done...

Ok, one more thing... why was my man's tees so tight? I mean, not even like it was a little too tight like he had gained a little extra weight since coppin' them... but he looks like he bought them, shrunk them in the dryer, gained 50 pounds, took the shirts back to the store and got an even smaller size...

LOL... ok, I'm done now... for real...

Cybersex Prank #6

Courtesy of NT

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening and shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this? Madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch!
MommyMelissa: whatever

Stop Asking Me for Advice...

...what is more annoying than spending all night counseling someone on their relationship problems simply for them to do the exact fucking opposite of what you told them to do the very next day...?

Too often, my friends will ask me for advice on guys (and I don't sugar coat shit... I'll tell you if a dude is just trying to fuck, if he really likes you, etc.) and when I tell them what the deal is they say "Ok... you're right..." Then the next day, they will inform me that they did not take my advice... then three weeks later, dude is acting just like I said he would and they can't seem to understand it... I TOLD YOU WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN!!!

I know guys, B... not just because I am one but because I come from a long line of no-good ass niggas and have been friends with countless man whores... so I have first-hand experience on what the average nigga is about... (NOTE: this is not to say that all dudes are about sex because honestly, we're not... but I can usually decipher the difference between a nigga who's trying to get cakes, the ones who want a relationship AND cakes and the nigga who PLANS to get those cakes and then never talk to you again...)

So from now on, I'm no longer giving relationship advice... it's not gonna happen... don't call me...

Cover Girl

Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. Cover Girl.

I get the easy part... I get the beautiful part... what the hell does being breezy have to do with anything though?

Cybersex Prank #5

Courtesy of NT

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody
DirtyKate: Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja: How did you know?
Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate: What the fuck?
DirtyKate: You perverted piece of shit!

Dressing Up Your Pet...

Look how unhappy your pet is... LOOK AT HIM! Why are you putting him through this? Why? He fought you for 46 minutes while you tried to put this random ass pink, fluffy costume on him all for the sake of him being "cute"? SMH... it's a wonder your dog doesn't bite you in the ass everytime see he sees you and drop shits in your mouth while you sleep...

And what's with people who get dogs for the sole purpose of dressing them up? What kinda shit is that? If you want to dress something, go to your local Toys 'R Us and get one of those little dolls or some shit...

STOP DRESSING YOUR PETS!!!

Who's Watchin' the BET Awards Tonight???

Yeah, me neither...

Cybersex Prank #4

Courtesy of NT

Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

Robin Thicke...

Who's a cooler white dude than Robin Thicke...?

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Hardwork's Random Fact of the Day

Researchers believe that herring communicate with one another in a way humans would find repulsive; by passing gas.

Cybersex Prank #3

Courtesy of NT

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

Amir Sulaiman - "She Said, I Prefer a Broken Neck..."

All this dude’s poetry is incredibly intense… I plan to take a lot of my acting cues from him…

Double-You-Tee-Eff #72

Somebody Offered Susan Boyle $1 Million to Do Porn??

LMAO

Who the hell is gonna buy that shit?! This country is simply astounding to me sometimes...

"Don't You Back Talk Me!"

What the hell gives old people the right to talk to you wild reckless without any repercussions? I've never understood this...

My grandma feels that she can say whatever she wants to me but if I even fix my lips to say "Grandma, that's wrong..." I get hit with the whole "don't you back talk me!!!" By no means am I advocating that I should be able to say whatever the hell I want to to my grandma... but I don't think it's fair for her berate me about a bunch of shit she has no idea about without the privilege of defending myself...

It's not even a respect issue... I think you should always be respectful but old people seem to just be able to think they can get away with murder because they're elderly... I remember when I was working at UPS and they would just talk to me however they want to... so then I start getting pissed and I'm talking to him how they're talking to me... that's when they come with this "Well, I'm 89 years old and you should have some respect..." Motherfucker, for what? You gotta give respect to earn it, B... whether you're 12 or 92... that shit is universal...

Cybersex Prank #2

Courtesy of NT

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Cybersex Prank #1

Courtesy of NT

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

Things I Hate About Porn 2

I really think I've become too much of a porn watcher because I'm analyzing it entirely too much these days... in any event, I'm back for a second round of Things I Hate About Porn...

CUM-SWAPPING

This shit is just gross... it's one thing to share a nut... but when you take it in your mouth and then spit it into somebody else's mouth... that's damn near vomit-inducing... who thought this shit was sexy? Non-fiction, there needs to be a disclaimer before any scene where it's going to happen because usually it makes my stomach turn...

ALL-CAUCASOID SCENES

Scenes with all white people are just boring... I can count on one hand the amount of good flicks I've seen that include nothing but white people... there just never seems to be much variation... it's a white chick with blonde hair and fake tits getting banged out by some lame ass white dude... and it's always the same order... head, missionary, girl-on-top, doggystyle, cumshot... EVERY TIME...

BUKKAKE (OR BUKAKKE... i'M NOT EVEN SURE HOW YOU SPELL IT)

Watching a bunch of dudes stand around jerkin' off for 20 minutes waiting to bust one on a chick's face is just dumb...

LONG PERIODS OF CUNNILINGUS

This isn't even on some shit where I don't like cunnilingus, I just think it doesn't translate well to flicks... it's nothing like it is in real life... you can't make that shit LOOK sexy... LOL... I know it feels good but it's just kinda hard to really portray that without it sounding fake... so needless to say, long periods (over a minute) of this shit on a flick is boring...

LOOKING INTO THE CAMERA

What you lookin' at? With yo' lookin' ass!! I just feel weird when I'm looking at her and she's looking back at me... LOL... I feel like she's watching me... it just makes me uncomfortable...

AMATEUR VIDEOS

Every amateur video (with the exception of this one and one other jawn I can't find) has been HORRIBLE... lol... they're funny no doubt... but they're nowhere near any good... flicks, much like handling heavy machinery and open-heart surgery, should just be left to the professionals...

Damn, I Miss Chappelle's Show...

"You guys want some grapes...? Bitches!"

Celebrity Roasts

Am I the only one who doesn't understand the point of a celebrity roast? You get 74 different people to stand up and talk shit about you while everybody in the crowd laughs and it's supposed to be a good time...

Fuck that.

The last thing I want to do at my own party is be the butt of everyone's joke... and I can't even talk shit back because I'm supposed to just sit there and act like I'm enjoying myself... and NOTHING is off limits... not my fam, my appearance, my girl, my career, nothing... what part of the game is this???

It'd be different if I could shoot the dozens with them but it's just them talkin' all aggie about my faults... maybe it's just me...

Friday, June 26, 2009

Hardwork's Random Fact of the Day

While Antarctica is very cold, it’s not all ice and snow. About 1,200 square miles of the continent are made up of “dry valleys,” where mountains and ridges keep out any precipitation.

Double-You-Tee-Eff #71

Dahlak Brathwaite - "Just Another Routine Check"

This joint is dope…

A Famous Person Has Died...

...it's funny because it's true... LOL... this is what ALWAYS happens when someone famous dies... the coverage is everything but coverage... it's just a bunch of people talking about nothing...

James Harden

3rd pick? LMAO... NBA bust... I'm calling it NOW...

It's Friday, I Ain't Got No Job... and I Ain't Got Shit to Do...

...so, of all things, I took a personality quiz... LOL... here are the results...

You Are An INFP: The Idealist

"You are a creative person with a great imagination."
(This goes without saying... I think my greatest quality, besides being overwhelmingly awesome in general, is my creativity...)

"You enjoy living in your own inner world."
(I daydream ALL FUCKING DAY LONG... it definitely is what gets me through the day... LOL... it seems to never stop... from the time I wake up to the time I fall asleep, my mind is always off in another world...)

"Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships."
(Definitely the truth... anyone will tell you, I'd rather not have you around, then have you in my life in a fucked up situation... it doesn't make any sense to do it otherwise, in my opinion...)

"It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close to you. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop."
I agree to this with an addendum... I don't think anyone outside of a few people really know the WHOLE me... and that's only because I choose to keep myself at an arm's length with most people... some people know me as HW the Guy's Guy, some know me as HW the Writer, some as HW the Asshole, some as HW the Player/Manwhore, some as HW the Sweethearted Guy Who Just Wants to Be Loved, etc, etc... I just have too many layers to put myself out there for everyone to see... I've done it only a few times in my life and it's always ended up being a strain except in the cases of Christina and Nicole... but I will genuinely do anything for anybody in my circle if it will help them grow as a person...

"In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards."
See 30 Qualities My Wife WILL Possess... even though, in my opinion, I don't feel any of those qualities are unrealistic... I do think as a whole, I generally view life a little unrealistically but I was always taught that if you always think about the things you know you can do, you'll never really try anything and will, in turn, always stay at the same level of mediocrity... you gotta dream big to live big... and in all honesty, despite our arguing, Nicole is pretty close to attaining all those qualities... she's one of the few women I can say that about...

"You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings."
Pre-2008, I'd agree with this... but not as much anymore... there are a few things that I'm always going to be sensitive about but for the most part, I could give a fuck about feelings, emotions, etc.

"At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values."
I definitely agree with this... I just love to express myself period (hence why I've had over 200 blogs this month... LOL) and when it comes to working, if I'm pigeon-holed into a little window where I can't express myself, I find it mundane and it usually induces some type of psychotic episode...

"You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist."
This goes without saying... LOL... these are actually things I've considered as careers (being a writer and an artist are not always lucrative however...) but I think my life will always be centered around these three areas...

"How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual."
These couldn't describe me better... I'm always empathetic but not always sympathetic... I have LONG conversations with God even though I'm not the best Christian and if you think I'm a selfish person then you simply haven't been paying attention...

"When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak."
This is true also... people stay taking my kindness for weakness, thinking that I'm never going to accomplish anything I set out to do... can't wait to prove them wrong...

Now for the people that know me on a personal level, do you think this is accurate? Just curious...

Ya'll be easy...

D-Block - "Get My Paper"

I've been on this joint for the longest but I kept forgetting to throw the vid up here... and that Charlotte Hornets jawn is lookin' extra piffery on the homie Holiday...

Would You Want Doo-Wop Doing That?

In my dealings with the fairer sex, I usually come across a situation where a chick will wanna fuck (not just me, necessarily but sometimes friends come to me with situation involving other dudes...) but is scared of being looked at as "too easy" or some other bullshit... I usually tell them to do what they feel when it comes to sex and the like... see, too often women are so concerned with how people are going to see them and what people think, rather than just going ahead and getting smashed...

I usually tell them not to worry about it and just do whatever feels good... to which the common reply is "It's easy for you to say that... you're a guy... you wouldn't want Doo-Wop doing that would you?"

Doo Wop is three years old, B... LOL... she shouldn't be having sex with ANYBODY... I don't even see how that's even a fair comparison... even when she's older, I'm not going to want her to be having sex... but that's because she's my sister not because I see anything wrong with it... if she chose to fuck all her boyfriends I'm not gonna look at her different or like she's a ho...

I don't see why anybody looks at somebody who has a reasonable amount of sex as a ho... unless you are literally going out every night and fucking a different person, then I don't see how the title fits... if you meet a dude, ya'll talk on the phone, go out, you like him and he likes you, how can you be considered a smut by giving up the cakes? That's just straight up ridiculous... even the occasional one-night-stand isn't THAT terrible... but they get so caught up in what other people, usually other women, think about them, that they can't even enjoy themselves... maybe it's just me... things would be a lot easier though if people just stopped giving a fuck about other's opinions of them... just my two cents...

So women, STOP WORRYING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S COOCHES AND THINGS WILL BE JUST FINE!!!

A Little Progress...

I was going to wait until the first week of July but I was too excited today to wait... I was really looking forward to seeing how much progress I'd made in the last couple weeks... all the numbers went up but I was still hoping to see more improvement... the next max-out session will be at the end of July...

-Goals:
Bench - 400+
Deadlift - 850+
Hang Clean - 225+
Squat - 750+

Week 1:
Bench - 225
Deadlift - 305
Hang Clean - 125
Squat - 275

End of Week 3:
Bench - 245 (9% increase)
Deadlift - 315 (3% increase)
Hang Clean - 135 (8% increase)
Squat- 335 (22% increase)

I was definitely pleased with the squats... (and I honestly think my deadlift would have been better but I was exhausted by the end of the workout... maybe I need to put them on separate days to get a true measure....) but any progress is good in my book... hopefully, that last week in July will be off the chart with improvement...

Homeless Girl is Going to Harvard

Ummmmm...

This whole ad concerns me...

15 Tattoos that Will Keep You From Getting Laid

LOL... all these probably would keep you from getting some cooch... especially number one...

Real Chance of Love 2

These two again? SMH...

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson - "Smooth Criminal"

THIS will always be my favorite Michael Jackson vid... it's not even close...

Ummm... I wasn't going to speak on MJ's death simply because 1) I felt like everyone else would be speaking on it and 2) I wasn't really that saddened by the news... well I take that back... I'm always saddened to hear about someone passing away... but it wasn't like a swift blow to my heart like "OMG, Michael Jackson is dead..." It wasn't like that for me at all... I don't know if it's because Jackson's relevance to mainstream media has been nothing more than tabloid fodder for the past ten years or what... It makes me sick that the same people that have been talking shit about Mike for the past years are now coming out and saying how much they loved him and shit... that strikes a chord with me, B... it really does... I mean, it's one thing to just throw harmless jabs at him but people were really going HARD at him...

That notwithstanding, I was a big MJ fan... my music collection clearly doesn't reflect that (I think I have maybe ten songs total on my computer) but I remember watching his Moonwalker tape at least 100 times as a child... LOL... me and Shaunne would KILL that joint on Saturdays at my grandma's house... and just looking at the reaction in the videos... like people straight up passing the fuck out... to me, those are REAL fans, B... LOL... you don't just fake passing the hell out at a concert... you're likely to get fucking trampled or something... Thriller sold something like 109 million albums or something... that's insane... INSANE... what other album would EVER do something like that nowadays...? And that shit is classic and timeless... you could still put Thriller in your whip and play every song and nobody would look at you crazy...

I don't wanna get into too much because I feel like I'm only going to be saying what everyone else is already saying and I kinda pride myself on having a different opinion from most people... LOL

R.I.P. Mike

Double-You-Tee-Eff #70

Man Kills His Girlfriend After Finding Out She Used to Have a Penis

Ok, ok... I... ummmmmm... ok, wait... ok, I don't condone killing ANYBODY, per se... but I can understand how fucked up a person must feel inside to know that they, a heterosexual male, has been wifing up another nigga for two years... I'm not going to go as far as to say that he/she* DESERVED to die but I feel like he/she should've been honest from jump street... I mean, I understand little white lies like "Yeah, I just got a brand new Charger," "I got dough," "I got a job" See? Those are little harmless things in the grand realm of relationships... "I used to be a dude... yeah a dude with a dick and testicle fuzz and everything" is something that one should definitely put up front... I don't care whether you consider yourself a woman or whatever, you used to be a guy... and most guys, especially your favorite blogger, would have a major problem with somebody telling me that "I know I appear to be a woman, but I had an operation... I actually used to be a man..." and this is like first-five-seconds information... like name, astrological sign, gender... LOL... that's some upfront type shit... that's all I'm saying... he/she still didn't deserve to get clipped up but I can KIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDA understand the homie's frustration...

Ya'll be easy...

*the term he/she is not meant to be offensive here or anything of that nature, but technically, this person IS both a he and a she... hence the term, he/she...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Dopest Show on TV Period...

Thursdays @ 9 PM

2010

This movie looks bananas...

WOWZERS!!

I haven't seen Cici looks this good in a minute...

Quote of the Day

"I wanna snort coke" Paige

It was just random and out of nowhere... LOL...

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hardwork's Random Fact of the Day

The word “sex” was mentioned once on an episode of The Brady Bunch. Which potty-mouth said it? Cousin Oliver, in one of the show’s final episodes.

Double-You-Tee-Eff #69

Damn, Moss...

Old Sneaker Collection

So I'm looking through some old pics on my computer (I deleted a good 2,000 off my hard drive...) and I come across my old sneaker collection pics... straight up broke my heart... I didn't have much heat by any means but at least half of those sneakers are either beat, sold, given away or in storage... (trust me, you don't even wanna see what I have now...) it's all gravy though... the kid is about to get back on his sneaker shit hardbody...

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Monday, June 29, 2009

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Friday, June 26, 2009

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Who's That Peekin' Through My Window...?

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