I saw this on another blog and thought I'd throw my two pennies up... you know how your boy HW does it... LOL...When I was sixteen or seventeen I was having entirely too much sex with too many random people... granted, I wouldn't change a thing that happened because it helped to mold the person I am (and it's only God's will that my penis didn't turn green from some incurable disease...) Those times were fun (not just the sex, but just being completely reckless) and I think it's one of those things that as we get older we tend to look back and think
"how the hell could I have been so stupid...?" Was it stupid? Of course it was...
if I could go back to 2001-2002 and do it all again, would I? You bet your fucking life I would...Did you ever see that episode of the Simpsons where they were over in Japan and the tv show kept giving them seizures... I've never laughed that hard in my life... I need to find that on youtube somewhere now that I'm thinking about it...
I've had wine only when chillin' with my girl... to me, it has no real affect but it makes me feel a little more sophisticated... LOL... even if it's just some cheap shit... but what's more dope than
"I had wine with dinner"? Nothing I tell you...
nothing.
I did something out of my character on the 4th of July...
I let my dad have his way... me and Nicole had stopped by to visit my mom and my sisters and this nigga comes in the crib and starts asking me to make him food and take pictures and shit...
2002 Hard Work would have snatched this nigga wihtout a second thought... but 2009 Hard Work has learned to be a little bit more calm... and plus me and Nicole had had a great weekend and I didn't want to spoil it with my own selfish motives... so I kept getting his food... (he sent me in the kitchen at least four times) and I took his fucking pictures (even Nicole will tell you I didn't smile once) and I generally tried to be a good son... even though Nicole thought it was admirable of me to do that, I still feel sick to my stomach about it...
People feel that I'm becoming too much of a different dude than I used to be... I agree... I'm a lot different... but
I'm also the happiest I've ever been... I think people want me to be on some Mary J. Blige shit where my best work comes when I'm going through shit... but when I'm happy, nobody wants to hear what I have to say... I really think that's the gist of it... misery loves company and when people used to be miserable, they'd come to me because they knew I was already there... now that I look at the world a little different, a lot of people steer clear of me... at first, it bothered me... I'm one of those people that feel the need to be well-liked by the majority of people I come into contact with...
as time has gone on, I've learned to not give a fuck... most people are shady anyway...
I was never sloppy with other people's feelings... if you made a conscious effort to be a part of my life, I allowed that...
so if you're not in my life and you really want to be, you have no one to blame but yourself because you either A) said/did some fucked-up shit and now I could give a fuck whether you wake up tomorrow or B) you didn't really wanna be in my life as bad as you think you did... point bliddank...
Ten or fifteen years from now, I can't wait to look back and see the great person that I've become... I'm sure I won't still be blogging by then but I just feel like anybody's who's been in my corner will see what a great person I've become and be so happy for me... and
all the other hater niggas who've always looked at me for what I was now instead of the person I KNEW I was going to be will look like dumbasses for ever doubting me... and I won't gloat... I'll just be chillin'... gloating is for when you didn't realize you could do something and were being all timid at the beginning... then when it happens, you don't want niggas to realize how scared you were on the inside, so you feel you have to counteract that with talking shit saying how you knew you could do it the whole time... I already know what it is with me...
I'ma just let my future do the talkin'... non-fiction...I saw this bin with a baby in it one time... shit freaked me the hell out... I didn't know what to do or who to call... but then I just realized I was daydreaming... so I wrote a poem about it... LOL
I have more love for Melody Nicole Cook than I ever thought I would... not because there's anything wrong with her but in the beginning I never figured we'd end up together... she even told me that when I went away to school she had no intention of talking to me and
it honestly didn't even bother me... keeping people around for too long can put them in a place where I didn't want her to be anyway... but she's been such a great addition to my life and now that we've got all the petty bullshit arguments outta the way, I think we're gonna be just fine from here on out... I'm not saying we're NEVER going to argue again... but I don't think it'll be anything like how it has in the past...
she's really become one of my best friends as well as my girl, and it's amazing what that type of combination will do for a heart that was as cold as mine... I just admire people who are themselves... it's hard to just be yourself in this day and age... so many people feel like they have an image to maintain... I know of so many people who are one way out in public and the complete opposite in their dealings with me... it irks me to no end but I try my best not to judge because I've been there before... so I'll always admire people who are themselves... even if you're a straight-out racist...
as long as you own up to that shit, I can't help but give you my respect because you kept it 100... a racist who's honest about it has more respect from me than some asshole who will talk about how he hates racists but is still a racist himself...
To do good you have to be completely selfless... don't do something just so that someone else will do something good for you... I honestly hate this type of person... I mean, it's one thing to do something for someone because they've done it for you... but
it's quite another to do something nice for someone for the sole purpose of them returning the favor... then if they don't/can't return the favor, you have the nerve to get an attitude...? I HATE that type of person...
When I was starting out this blog I honestly thought I'd never get more than a couple views from the friends I'd told about it... to know that I get so many views a day and that so many people respect my opinion (or at least think I'm funny) has provided so much insight and
that's why I plan to keep it going as long as I reasonably can... surprisingly, the one person who doesn't support this blog that much is my girl... LOL... which is ironic to me because she supports EVERYTHING else... even when I was talking about going to army...
You have to view things objectively...
just thinking about what YOU would do is the way you stay small-minded... one thing I never thought about was 9/11... I didn't think it was crazy that they did it... I thought it was unfortunate but I just never gave much thought to why they did it... then I was in my psychology class talking about it and a lot of people got angry and started saying how wrong they were and there was no reason for them to do that... that's when my professor posed the question:
"If you were born in the Middle East, what do you think it would take for you to hijack a plane and crash it into a building, taking, not only your own life, but the lives of thousands as well...? It can't be an easy decision... you don't know what went through their minds as they were doing these things... when you can answer that question, that's when you're allowed to judge another culture, race, etc. for the things that they do, have done and will do in the future..." I've thought about that ever since he posed the question and I still don't have an answer...
therefore, I choose not to judge... I'm one of those people that try to never say
"there's no excuse" because often times there is... it might not be one that I agree with, but there are two sides of the fence for everything...
The ending was clear to me when I see that I'm there for you more than you can be there for me... if you got no money and I got $5, then I got $2.50 and you got $2.50... fuck it, let's go to Snoopy's and get two hotdogs each and a Jungle Juice... that's how I see it... but you got $100 and I got nothing, you can't spare me $5 to hold me over until next week?
What kinda shit is that? No wonder we're not cool anymore...
I said I would never get into another relationship after 2008... it was by far the worst year I'd ever had with relationships...
I had one girl dump me, one girl leave me for another dude, one girl just straight up LEAVE (for reasons that are STILL to this day fucking with me) and a bunch of others that just wouldn't have worked out... it took a dozen arguments for me and Nicole to get together and I can honestly say it's the best relationship I've been in...
she's better than any woman I've ever had by leaps and bounds and our relationship is one that I certainly don't take for granted like I did with the others... and the crazy thing is I'm probably in the worst place I've ever been... LOL... like, I got no money, no car, no house... I'm in college working on the last leg of this degree, no guarantee of a job when I get out and she's right there talking about our future together... I can't say that any of my exes would do that because they wouldn't... I know that and they know that... and that's their choice of course, but
I can't say I've ever been supported the way that she's supported me... The only thing that I regret in my life is that I didn't do everything full-speed... I've bullshitted away a lot of things in my life because I didn't act...
I've been so complacent with kinda trudging along getting something here and there rather than just going 1000 miles an hour for something I wanted... that goes for girls, jobs, friendships, etc. I'm starting to do so and take things for what they're worth but at times it's still hard...
I was in my apartment last year and I remember the most important things to me at the time were getting to work on time, making sure I had dinner for the night, making sure my phone was going to stay on... this year, the most important things to me are graduating in December, finding a job, making my girl happy and making myself happy...
what a difference a year makes...I never saw myself being the type of person I am now... when I was a kid, I never envisioned I'd be a writer, a teacher, a good dad, a good husband type of dude... but now I'm on the cusp of being all of those things and it amazes me...
What greater snub is there than being there for someone who can
NEVER be there for you?
Some audiences are mindless and can't seem to wrap themselves around any concept other than the ones they've been taught since an early age... when I was in high school, none of my teachers saw my potential when it came to writing... they all thought my style was too different... then
I got to college and my professors have done is praise my style of writing... and I will always love them for that because it's what got me through it...
knowing that I could simply say what I wanted to say how I wanted to say it has saved my life by providing a lane for me to express myself when I thought there was no lane... if I had to stick with that bullshit-ass-5-paragraph, introduction-three-supporting-paragraphs-conclusion nonsense they forcefed me back at Southeast Raleigh, I'd have quit college before the first semester was up...
What should I do now? Now, all I can do is wait... not the kinda wait like
"let's see what happens" but the kinda wait where you have to let some things fall into place before you can truly progress... yeah, that type of waiting... but the wait won't be long I don't think... I feel my life changing for the better, FINALLY, and I've never had more confidence in myself and my abilities...
it's crazy that I've been damn-near screaming for people to realize my potential for almost 25 years but I, myself, am just now realizing just how great a person I truly am...
I think I may have a problem with Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Macadamia... (this is from the week BTW, not today... so shut the fuck up... LOL...) this ice cream has single-handedly allowed me to gain a good ten pounds back on the 30 I've lost over the summer...
I think I may have a problem with Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Macadamia... (this is from the week BTW, not today... so shut the fuck up... LOL...) this ice cream has single-handedly allowed me to gain a good ten pounds back on the 30 I've lost over the summer...
To me, this was one of the more compelling pieces simply because it's an issue that has always plagued us as a race... we're always told that Black students simply CAN'T do better as a whole... and the fact that he has a damn-near nonexistent dropout rate while maintaining that 100% of his graduates in a college is more than enough of an accomplishment to me... if I lived ANYWHERE near Hartford, CT, my kids would be enrolled in his school... and it's crazy because I always give Paige shit for going to private school and it's only because I went to public school and I get so tired of this air people have about going to a private school... all it told me was that your parents have gwap to send you to a different school... it didn't necessarily mean you were going to be any smarter, any more well-behaved, a better citizen or any of that shit... but I can honestly say that when I hear about 
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