In any event... enjoy:
You Know What REALLY Grinds My Gears? (6)
YOU KNOW WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS?
Female Friends. Now, I know this is going to upset a few people but I'm really starting to get tired of ya'll. It used to be, you and I could chat and talk about anything and everything. You have a bad day, you come to me. I have a bad day, I come to you. Now all of a sudden this shit is turning into Dr. Phil and I gotta counsel every single relationship issue you have and that's where I have a problem. You're 21-25. You've been with this dude for 74 years and shit and he's been doing the same thing for the last 74 years that he did on the first date. That very first date, he looked at other girl's asses, told you you weren't shit, told you he had other females on the side and you took one look at him and said "all that don't matter, I love this dude." But you think you gonna call me up every 94 seconds talking about "what he done did now..."? Let me make something clear. I'm always gonna be there for you. I don't wish any harm to come to you at all. But if you call, text, fax, IM or write me about this dude one more time, you're cut off. PERIOD. I'm tired of hearing about his ass. Just leave. Or stay. I don't care anymore. But stop whining about this nigga. You gonna ask me should you leave him after he just fucked your mom and then makes YOU feel bad about it because you don't do everything you used to do? Is that a serious question? This nigga cheated on you with your best friend, her sister, YOUR sister and some random chick that lives in his apartment complex and you're trying to figure out what YOU'RE doing wrong? Just stop it. This shit is retarded. So if you not gonna leave, I suggest you find another guy to give you "a man's perspective" on shit because I'm not the one. So the next time, he lies to you, cheats on you, beats on you, don't call me. Ok, i take that back, he put his hands on you, hit me up, 'cuz I got some goons that will handle that shit quick, fast and in a hurry. But all the other nonsense, act like you don't know me. That's real talk.
YOU KNOW WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS?
Good-Ass dreams. You ever been having like the best dream ever, and then you wake up? That shit is the worst.
YOU KNOW WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS?
Girls Who Aren't YOUR Girl, Acting Like They Must Have All Your Time. I mean, just who are you to try to monopolize my time? It's different if you're my girl or I'm requesting you to be. But we're just friends and that's clear, that that's the level that we're at, why are you constantly questioning me? I'm a bum. I have no money. I'm back living at home, taking care of a 2-year-old all day. Just what the hell could I be doing? The fact of the matter is, it doesn't really matter what I'm doing. We're just friends. It's not my job to sit here and wait on you to contact me. I have better things to do with my time than listen to you go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about absolutely nothing.
YOU KNOW WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS?
People Acting Like It's A Problem If You Don't Agree With Them. Sometimes, you're just wrong. Sometimes, I'm just right. Ok, that's a bad joke. I'm subject to wrongness just as much as any one else. But don't make it like I'm attacking your character simply because I don't agree with some bullshit you said. You think it's cool that kids can talk back to their parents because it shows that they're standing up for themselves. That's cool. Me personally, I think they should be slapped in the face with a shovel for talking back. That's just MY opinion. If your mother raised you a certain way that doesn't coincide with my ideals, then don't get your panties in a bunch. Just agree to disagree and let's talk about something else. Don't start talking about how "I'm not giving in" or "I always have to be right" because that's not the case. I do, however, feel the need to give my opinion on some things and I will do so in whatever medium I deem fit. If you don't agree with that, then guess what? Tough potatoes. You'll be ok. The sun's still gonna shine tomorrow. If you don't agree with me, then start your own blog and you can write about whatever the fuck you wanna talk about.
YOU KNOW WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS?
My Family's Cooking Practices. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm back living at home. Don't worry about why. Some shit happened in Greensboro, it's none of your business really. If I wanted you to know, you would know by now. But I digress, my family cooks some of the unhealthiest meals known to man. And I don't mean like they make fried chickken or something because I love fried chicken. I do not, however, love fried chicken, rice, potatoes, beans AND bread. What's with all the damn carbohydrates? How we're not all dead right now, I don't understand. And I know everybody's like "Greg, you don't have to eat it." Fuck you, I'm hungry. I don't have a job to pay for my own food, otherwise I'd eat something else. I have to eat what is presented in front of me. I'm just sayin', can a brova get some broccoli on the side? Can i get some fruit to go with this bacon, sausage, egg, cheese, butter and grease debacle you call a breakfast? Can we have some tea or some grapefruit juice instead of this fucking Big K orange soda for the 96th time?
YOU KNOW WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS?
ESPN analysts. These motherfuckers pick a different best team EVERYDAY! Monday afternoon, it's "The Colts are the best team in football. BAR NONE!" Then Tuesday morning, it's "Nobody can stop Tennessee Titans! They're a perfect team!" Then Thursday night, it's "The Cowboys are fucking unstoppable!" Well, they don't say 'fucking' but you get my point. How can everybody be the best team on any given day? Why not just say, these teams are performing really good right now. Don't say some shit like that. That's like me saying Obama is the best presidential candidate. Then an hour later, I say it's McCain. Then next week, I say they should've given Hillary a shot. It's fucking ridiculousness. Speaking of that...
YOU KNOW WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS?
John McCain and Sarah Palin. If they're running the country, I'm moving to Australia. Fuck it. Actually, I take that back, I'm moving to Canada. Free health care, bitches!
And that's what grinds my gears. Diane?
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