Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Spades vs. Poker

Why is poker a sport now? Why does it make people so much money? It's a fucking card game... and not even a fun one at that... shit, you lose more than you win... that's the opposite of a sport, isn't it?

If poker is such a major game these days, why can't spades be on that level? I'm a hell of a spades player... shit, put me on ESPN and I guarantee you it's more entertaining than poker... poker only gets exciting when somebody goes all in... other than that, it's boring as shit... not to mention, it moves at a fucking snails-pace because these assholes take twenty minutes before they decide to throw a fucking chip on the board...

Spades is fast-paced as a motherfucker... shit when the game drags, people ALWAYS call you out... and let a motherfucker renege and see what happens to that ass... can you imagine the highlights? Somebody got fucking Rock-Bottom'd because they had to pass them three books over to the other team...? That's good television...

And the commentary would just be hilarious...
Jim: "Oh, Tyrone, bid four books and he only got three, that's going to hurt them in the later rounds."
Bob: "You're absolutely right Jim. Tyrone had the Ace, King and Queen of diamonds, but he also had four other diamonds and just one spade. Just what was he thinking there?"
Jim: "I'm not sure Bob, but he doesn't wanna make that mistake again. His teammate, Sharonda, is fuming right now. She hates to not make a hand. Losing sixty points is not going to put a smile on ANYONE'S face."
Bob: "Got that right, Jim. Ok, Otis is dealing the next hand, let's get back to the action."

Ayo, I'd watch that shit... real talk... make it happen ESPN!!

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