Magic's Biggest Secrets Revealed

Ok, this might lose me a few cool points but I have always been amazed by magic... like... seriously... and one of my favorite shows to watch is Magic's Biggest Secrets Revealed because it tells you how to do all the shit that's had me stumped for years... and no matter how I think they did it, it never turns out to be that way... I always go into some super complex shit and it's always like the simplest shit that I would never even think of... in any event, peep the videos...

Ya'll Thnk Ya'll Funny...

I understand a nigga can't text back but that doesn't mean ya'll just gonna be sending me texts talking shit... don't make me Barack-Obama-the-button...

Funniest Commercial on TV

If you don't think this is funny, kill yourself...

SMH @ Kanye & Nike

Yeezy's are $215?!?
Blasphemy...

FRONT PAGE NEWS!!!

So, imagine my surprise when the first article I've ever written in life ended up on the front of the TEC... I was buggin'... I was runnin' a little late for class so I didn't get a chance to read it until after my first class was over and FURTHER imagine my surprise when they cut out like half of my original article... LOL... I was like "the fuck?" Especially because I spent like 20 minutes trying to re-word this sentence because I couldn't get it to sound right at first... and then they ended up cutting it anyway... I was heated... but hey, it is what it is... seeing your name in print is dope as fuck... I think I'm addicted now... I can't wait to write more...

Ya'll be easy...

I've Never Owned a Pair of Vans...

...but these go hard... I need a release date and a price...

I Have No Business Liking This Shit...

...but I do...



I'm probably gonna have my ghetto pass revoked because of this shit...

What's the Worst Thing You've Ever Done...?

I was watching this film called Smoke Signals for my Ethnic Studies class and the question was posed: "what's the worst thing you've ever done to another person?"

I've thought long and hard about this and I really can't come up with anything... I mean, not even frontin', I really couldn't come up with anything that bad... I mean, I've lied to people but it wasn't about anything major... it was like little BS lies and whatnot... I guess spending the night with Yolanda two days before me and Melissa were official was pretty bad now that I look back on it, but I still don't think that's THAT crazy... at least not in the grand scheme of things...

I was just telling Nicole yesterday that I have this feeling in my gut that I'm going to go to prison one day... she thought it was crazy because I'm mild-mannered and I generally stay out of trouble... shit, I barely raise my voice... LOL... but I don't know... I've felt that way ever since I was like 13... maybe it's just too many movies and video games...

What's the worst thing YOU (yes, you, the reader) have EVER done???

Ya'll be easy...

Duke Ellington on a U.S. Coin

I meant to speak on this a minute ago, but I'm just now getting around to it...

Duke Ellington is the first African-American to be on a circulating coin all by himself... that's HUGE... I mean, I don't know why he would be the first one... not to take away from anything he did, but I just thought there were more prevalent people they could have picked instead... but in any event, that's bananas... if Obama isn't on some money by the end of presidency, that would be a travesty...

Ok, let me stop because I'm doing what other people do by saying he's already failing as a president and homie's only been in office all of three months... he hasn't done anything to be on money except be the first black President so I feel like he needs to really prove himself by the end of his term but in any event, that's crazy... if I find some Duke Ellington change, I'm going to keep it on the stash somewhere... unless, it's late and I'm 25 cents short at the vending machine...

Ya'll be easy...

W.A.N.T.E.D.

Mike Leach is THAT Dude...

Mike Leach (for those that don't know) is the head football coach at Texas Tech and where most football coaches couldn't care less if their players get their educations or not, Mike Leach took the best route possible...

He made one of his receivers study by himself, on the 50 yard line of their stadium... in the snow... LMAO... you can read the article here but that was just too funny for me not to comment on... as a person who's played football and achieved (fairly!) good grades, I hate when a person thinks that all they can do is play football and that's it... all it takes is a little time management and dedication... and some of these college players are the worst... I understand you got practice but if you can manage to go to every party, bag a million different chicks and do everything else, why can't you make it to class or study? Chances are you're not going to make it to the NFL anyway...

You're fucking third string talking about "wait 'til Pro Day..." Nigga, miss me with that shit and pick up a damn psychology book...

Ya'll be easy...

I am Officially Tired of PETA...

...seriously, these people need lives... as most of you know by now, Mike Vick is set to be released from his sentence sometime this summer and is hoping to make a comeback to the NFL but that can only happen if Roger Goodell isn't an asshole and doesn't bar him from the league... but in any event, we know what transpired about a year and a half ago and we also know that the dude has been locked up for a minute now... it's been reported that the homie wants to actually write a book (details of what it will be about have yet to be disclosed) but the assholes at PETA don't want that to happen because they feel like, if it were to mention the whole dog scandal, then he'll be profiting from murderous deeds...

Ok 1) PETA let my dude live... please... it was damn near two years ago... and this dude took the fall for something that's been going on for YEARS and has been nothing more than a fucking misdemeanor... I understand ya'll love dogs and whatever and think it's perfectly reasonable to tongue-kiss your pooches and all that good shit, but let it go already... am I saying it's ok to have dog-fighting? No. But they act like my dude came up with this shit... LOL... dog-fighting was around long before MV7 and will be around long after MV7... I think it's disgusting that he had to take the fall for something that's been around forever and they won't just let it go... they don't want him to make any money or anything... it's like they'd rather him be a bus-driver or some shit rather than doing what he's been doing all his life which is playing football... miss me with that shit...


2) Even if he were to write a book, I think it would focus more on his life up to this point rather than just focusing on the trial and dogs... how long a book would that be? LOL... it's not like a book about murders, drugs or anything...

"We used to fight dogs. The end."

What kind of book would that be? In any event, PETA is full of shit... I understand their cause, but they end up annoying me more than anything...


3) COME TO THE PANTHERS MIKE!!!

It's Only a Matter of Time...

...before it happens again... we're droppin' Gonzaga off at the curbside this evening... Syracuse/Oklahoma winner on Sunday... then off to the Final Four... if you UNC haters would go ahead and accept this reality, your lives would be so much better...

Ya'll be easy...

Damn...

So I get a message from ECU that my computer may have been infected with a virus and that I need to do a scan... I do a scan... 34 motherfucking viruses... the only way to fix it apparently (other than hauling this mammoth of a computer to the local Mr.-Fix-It) is to pay $50 for some anti-virus jump-off and that shit ain't happening... so... as a result, the blogs will slow down considerably... I'm still committed to my goal of 1500 by the end of the year so I'll be putting in overtime once May gets here and the new laptop is in working order... for now, just gotta stick with the computer labs... LOL... I'm not trippin' too hard... after almost four years in my possession, I think it's funny I get a virus just one month before I get another computer...

Ya'll be easy...

Let's Go 'Nova!!!

Dook sucks.


























That is all.

Ha.

Click the pic to read the whole thing. I LOLed.

SMH...

Dallas police chief apologizes for conduct of officer who drew gun on NFL player outside hospital
04:46 PM CDT on Thursday, March 26, 2009
By STEVE THOMPSON and TANYA EISERER / The Dallas Morning News
Dallas Police Chief David Kunkle stood in front of a dozen news cameras this afternoon at police headquarters to apologize for the behavior of an officer who stopped a family outside a hospital emergency room.

Kunkle said Officer Robert Powell has been placed on paid administrative leave in connection with an incident last week in which he stopped a family rushing to visit a dying mother, detaining them for 13 minutes to write a traffic ticket.

“His behavior in my opinion, did not exhibit the common sense, discretion, the compassion that we expect our officers to exhibit,” the chief told a packed audience of media outlets that included Inside Edition.

During the traffic stop, caught on the officer’s in-car camera, Powell berated the driver, 26-year-old NFL running back Ryan Moats, and threatened him with arrest for running a traffic light.

“I can screw you over,” said Powell, 25. “I’d rather not do that.”

At one point during today’s news conference, Kunkle seemed to restrain himself from being even more candid with his views on the incident.

“When we in the command staff reviewed the tapes,” he said, “we were embarrassed, disappointed — it’s hard to find the right words and still be professional in my role as a police chief.”

The chief also praised Moats and his family for how they handled the officer’s behavior.

“They exercised extraordinary patience, restraint, dealing with the behavior of our officer,” Kunkle said. “At no time did Mr. Moats identify himself as an NFL football player or expect any kind of special consideration. He handled himself very, very well.”

Moats rolled through a red light as he and his wife were en route to Baylor Regional Medical Center at Plano. A Dallas police squad car pulled their SUV over near the hospital's emergency entrance.

Moats and his wife implored the officer to let them hurry on to the bedside of her ill mother.

“You really want to go through this right now?” Moats pleaded. “My mother-in-law is dying. Right now!”

His wife, Tamishia Moats, said Powell "was pointing a gun at me as soon as I got out of the car. It was the weirdest feeling because I’ve never had a gun pointed at me before under those circumstances.”

Powell then spent long minutes writing Moats a ticket and threatening him with arrest.

Powell could not be reached for comment.

Kunkle, asked about Powell’s reaction to the investigation, said the officer told a member of the command staff that he was just doing his job.

“My understanding is that Officer Powell, even when he saw the videotape, believed he had not acted inappropriately," Kunkle said.

“I've read some of the comments in some of the publications, and the majority of the comments reflect my position — that at the point the officer was told that they were responding to a dying family member, that should have been his concern: to allow those people to get access to that family member."

The scene, captured by the officer's dashboard video camera, prompted apologies and the promise of an investigation even before Kunkle met the media.

“There were some things that were said that were disturbing, to say the least,” said Lt. Andy Harvey, a police spokesman.

Harvey said Powell told his commanders that he drew his gun but did not point it at Moats or his wife.

The lieutenant said it's not unusual for officers to draw a gun in traffic stops if they feel threatened.

Moats’ mother-in-law, Jonetta Collinsworth, was struggling at 45 with breast cancer that had spread throughout her body. Family members rushed to her bedside from as far away as California.

On March 17, the Moatses had gone to their Frisco home to get some rest. Around midnight, they received word that they needed to hurry back to the hospital if they wanted to see Collinsworth before she died.

The couple, along with Collinsworth’s father and an aunt, jumped into the SUV and headed back toward the hospital. They exited the Dallas North Tollway, just down the street from the hospital.

Moats turned on his hazard lights. He stopped at a red light, where, he said, the only nearby motorist signaled for him to go ahead. He went through.

Powell, watching traffic from a hidden spot, flipped on his lights and sirens. In less than a minute, he caught up to the SUV and followed for about 20 more seconds as Moats found a parking spot outside the emergency room.

Tamishia, 27, was the first out. Powell drew his gun and yelled at her to get back in.

“Get in there!” he yelled. “Let me see your hands!”

“My mom is dying,” she explained to him.

Powell was undeterred.

“I saw in his eyes that he really did not care,” Tamishia Moats said. “Honestly, I don’t think I cared that he had a gun pointed at me. My train of thought is that I’m going to see my mom in the hospital before she dies.”

Tamishia Moats and her great-aunt ignored the officer and headed into the hospital.

“It was almost like a movie,” she said, “It felt like we had robbed a bank or something.”

Ryan Moats, who stayed behind with the father of the dying woman, said Powell also pointed his gun at him. He said he put his hands on the car because he was afraid that he might get shot.

“I put my hands on the car so he couldn’t say I reached for something,” Ryan said. “He didn’t ask me to put my hands on the car. I just did it to try to protect myself. I was pleading with him.”

He tried to explain the situation to the officer.

“I waited until no traffic was coming,” Moats told Powell, explaining his passage through the red light. “I got seconds before she’s gone, man.”

Powell demanded his license and proof of insurance. Moats produced his license but said he didn’t know where the insurance paperwork was.

“Just give me a ticket or whatever,” he said, beginning to sound exasperated and a little argumentative.

“Shut your mouth,” Powell told him. “You can cooperate and settle down, or I can just take you to jail for running a red light.”

There was more back and forth.

“If you’re going to give me a ticket, give me a ticket.”

“Your attitude says that you need one.”

“All I’m asking you is just to hurry up.”

Powell began a lecture.

“If you want to keep this going, I’ll just put you in handcuffs,” the officer said, “and I’ll take you to jail for running a red light.”

Powell made several more points, including that the SUV was illegally parked. Moats replied “Yes sir” to each.

“Understand what I can do,” Powell concluded. “I can tow your truck. I can charge you with fleeing. I can make your night very difficult.”

“I understand,” Moats responded. “I hope you’ll be a great person and not do that.”

Hospital security guards arrived and told Powell that the Moatses’ relative really was upstairs dying.

Powell spent several minutes inside his squad car, in part to check Moats for outstanding warrants. He found none.

Another hospital staffer came out and spoke with a Plano police officer who had arrived.

“Hey, that’s the nurse,” the Plano officer told Powell. “She said that the mom’s dying right now, and she’s wanting to know if they can get him up there before she dies.”

“All right,” Powell replied. “I’m almost done.”

As Moats signed the ticket, Powell continued his lecture.

“Attitude’s everything,” he said. “All you had to do is stop, tell me what was going on. More than likely, I would have let you go.”

It had been about 13 minutes.

Moats and Collinsworth’s father went into the hospital, where they found Collinsworth had died, with her daughter at her side.

The Moatses, who are black, said Wednesday that they can’t help but think that race might have played a part in how Powell, who is white, treated them.

“I think he should lose his job,” said Ryan Moats, a Dallas native who attended Bishop Lynch High School and now plays for the Houston Texans.

Powell was hired in January 2006. Assistant Chief Floyd Simpson said Powell told police officials that he believed that he was doing his job. He has been re-assigned to dispatch pending an investigation.

“When people are in distress, we should come to the rescue,” said Simpson. “We shouldn’t further their distress.”

Collinsworth was buried Saturday in Louisiana.



I was really sad to hear this... it really hits home because my mom has had struggles with cancer and I can't imagine being RIGHT THERE at the hospital and some asshole wants to make life difficult because I ran a fucking red light... shit like this is what keeps me from trusting cops... they hardly ever help but they are very happy to harrass (I know you like that ILLITERATION right there... lol... might throw that in a poem or something one day... but I digress...) Ryan Moats is a professional football player and never once tried to act like he was supposed to get special treatment... all he was concerned about was seeing his mother-in-law... he's a better man than me, because Dallas PD would be sued out the ass, non-fiction...

Ya'll be easy....

Two Jobs

That's right, nigga... your favorite blogger now has TWO jobs... I was just recently hired as a staff writer for The East Carolinian, the newspaper here on campus at the university... I get my first article tomorrow and it's due on Monday... I'm kinda nervous but kinda not... it almost seems too simple but I'm just looking forward to the experience... I swear college is going so much better this time around... LOL... I wasn't coming up here to brag or anything, just wanted you all to know that if the blogs slow down a bit, that would be why...

Ya'll be easy...

WOMEN. BUY. THIS. BOOK.

I haven't read it but the homie is on Tyra right now spittin' the truth... you wanna know how to treat your man or why you can't get a man or why men keep doggin' you, then read this book... ok, PSA over...

Ya'll be easy...

"We Set You Up With One of Our Decoys..."

Why do niggas on Maury constantly fall for this shit? Come on, B... you've seen the show!! You know how Maury gets down... this nigga has decoys in the green room every fucking lie detector episode... you know why you're there! You deny doing anything to your girlfriend but yet and still, you sit and tell this random stranger you fucked her sister, her mom's third cousin, the neighbor, the neighbor's aunt, etc. Like... why? Do niggas not know how to cheat anymore? You don't do dirt and then tell the whole world... what part of the game is this?! You keep that shit inside until it's brought to light... dumb ass motherfuckers will admit this shit with their own mouths and then have the nerve to take a lie detector test... then when they get caught say they wanna talk to the dude that gave the test like he's gonna be like "oh yeah... sorry about that, Malik... that one was a mistake, he was actually telling the truth..."

Secondly, why do you willingly take a lie detector test? Why? If you already know you doing dirt, why would you go on television just for the truth to come out? You gotta be the dumbest fuck ever in the history of dumb fucks... if I'm with a chick and I'm cheating, we are NOT going on Maury... we're not... she can threaten me and do all this other shit and say she'll leave but guess what? We are NOT going on Maury...

Thirdly, why do the silly ass women on this show KNOW that their dude is cheating but still feel like the lie detector is the end all, be all?

"I found three sets of underwear in his car. He says they belonged to his sister. I didn't know he had a sister but that's what he said, so I believed him."

"I found a used condom in the bedroom. But we don't use condoms so I wasn't sure if it was his. He said he let his best friend use our bed."

"Everytime his phone goes off, he goes into the bathroom to talk. He said the vibration on his phone always makes him get the runs so that's why. I love him and I trust him."

And the women NEVER leave the dude anyway... what is the fucking point? You come all the way on the show to figure out if he's cheating and then when you find out he is, you stay with him anyway? All that nigga has to do is propose and you're going back to him... WASTE OF TIME...




But Maury is funny as shit though, so if these idiots allow me to laugh at their expense, then who am I to befuddle their efforts?

Ya'll be easy...

Double-You-Tee-Eff #30

I was wondering how some of ya'll did it...

I'm flippin' through channels late night and I come across this on Telemundo (or the other Spanish channel... I can't remember what it's called)... SMH... and women stay trying to call dudes out for lying? Ya'll lyin' from Jump Street... Not that I mind looking though... but if you got a small cakes game, embrace your little ass and hips... (ya'll know who ya'll are...) everybody can't have a Buffie the Body, Bria Myles, Pinky (pre-lasagna-binge) bootie...

The fuck, B?

Dear Dwayne Johnson,

(Because apparently that is your name now... Not even "The Rock" in quotation marks anymore... you smug son-of-a-bitch... SMH) What happened to you? I mean, you used to be the self-proclaimed "Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment..."

Now you making Disney movies, my nigga? Seriously? You don't even look the same... frankly, I saw it coming... I knew once you did SNL (admittedly one of the best episodes ever), it was a wrap... the acting bug had you crazy... you used to be my dude... I'm not afraid to admit it... I bought a Rock shirt back in middle school and wore that shit to school at least once a week, non-fiction... and look what you've succumbed to... and I was on board from the very beginning... I wasn't even on board with The Greatest Ever Period (At Least Until KB24 Retires) donning stripes in the Pony League...

I thought that was the dumbest shit ever... luckily for MJ23, he atoned for his sins by coming back to grace us with arguably three of the greatest seasons a man has ever played in the L...

But I was still on board with you doing the movies... even if it meant you'd only wrestle half the time... ok, you did The Scorpion King... you was this big bad nigga... didn't lose your persona at all... then you did some decent films like The Rundown, Walking Tall... flicks that I didn't feel like I'd have a problem going to see...

THEN you decide you're going to leave wrestling to do movies full-time... ok, I couldn't hate on that... I didn't want you to leave (no 'mo of course) but you was my DUDE, son... I decided, I was gonna rock (no pun) with you and your decision to stack gwap... then how do you repay my fanship, fandom, fanhood (whatever the term is)...? The Gameplan? Seriously?

You follow up that string of movies with this shit? Granted, I peeped it one night on my friends DVR and couldn't believe my eyes... the premise was at least kinda dope... you're a QB, you did your thing and whatnot... at least that shit provided a dope ass apartment and some decent-looking groupies... everybody has to go a little left sometimes... I could dig trying different things...

But now this?
A cabbie for some kid aliens and then you help save the planet? You serious, B? Is this what it's come to? Nigga, you used to do the Rock Bottom!!! You are the innovator of The People's Elbow... you made Chris Jericho look like a straight up pussy on HIS debut, my nigga?

YOU ARE THE REASON THE FRIDAY NIGHT SHOW IS CALLED SMACKDOWN!

Why are you doing this shit to me? What did I do to you, Rock? I understand you gettin' that Will Smith paper when it comes to films but where's the justification for this shit? It's a fucking Disney movie!!! How fucking dare you? You are arguably the greatest non-white wrestler of all time and you dare ruin your legacy like this? I am no longer a fan... I've been reppin' you hardbody since fucking 6th grade and this is how you repay me? I'm telling you right now, if you ever have a movie where you're a transvestite or some type of crime-fighting grandmother, secret-FBI-agent, I'll deny ever having heard of you... (you ain't Martin Lawrence nigga)...

Can't believe this shit, man... next thing you know, Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna be doing romantic comedies and shit with one of the broads from Desperate Housewives...

Jesus...

Your boy,

Hard Work

Another Niketalk Post

The 20 Most Dangerous States for 2009

No. 18: North Carolina
North Carolina may not be anywhere near the top in 5 of the 6 crime categories. But, they take the numero uno spot when it comes to burglaries.


Rankings in Crime (out of 50 states)
(1 = Worst, 50 = Best)
Assault: 20
Burglary: 1
Murder: 13
Motor Vehicle Theft: 21
Rape: 36
Robbery: 15

I tried to tell dudes them Durham, Fayetteville and Wilson boys get it in... keep thinking NC is full of hicks and ass-backwards farmers... and before anybody claiming to do work tries to talk about how lame NC is, let it be known that NY, NJ and VA did NOT make the list... (that's not to say that hood dudes from these states don't get it in but I'm so tired of dudes from the aforementioned states trying to act like they're bosses just because they're from there... that's like me saying I'm a good basketball player because I went to UNC... no nigga, that just means you attend a university where some niggas happen to be good at roundball... but I digress...) I just thought it was crazy that's we're the number one state in burglaries... I knew it was bad but not THAT bad...

Ya'll be easy...

Actual Texts I've Received

Names have been removed to protect the hilariously guilty... lots of these are old btw... I'm clearing out my old phone and just happened to run across some of the joints I had saved...

"I practice fellatio on prescription bottles."

"If I didn't think of you like a brother, I'd be completely in love with you."

"Have you ever thought of what it would be like to have a vagina? Sometimes, I think about what it would be like to have a penis."

"If I ate another girl out that wouldn't make me gay, would it?"

"I know it's not a ladylike thing to tell somebody, but I have gas."

"Greg, I just wanna let you know that I'm really drunk and I'm not going to fuck anybody tonight. But if I was going to fuck somebody, it would be you. But I'm not going to fuck anybody. I'm going to go to sleep. Goodnight."

"You should eat out old ladies and charge them $200 a nut."

"By ignoring me, you're just going to make me call and text you more. CALL ME BACK OR I'M COMING TO YOUR HOUSE!"

"Some bitch called me to tell me that she was fucking my man. So I cussed that bitch out. Ain't nobody fucking my man but me. I smell that nigga's dick every morning and every night and it don't smell like nothing but Ivory soap and my pussy juice. Stupid ass bitches stay tryin' to start some drama."

"Nigga, I would give Roseanne the motherfucking biz. She had some big ass buttermilk titties."

"Do all babies think like Stewie? I hope my son isn't plotting to kill me."

"I wanna work for the FBI."

"Just ignore that picture of my ass I just sent. I meant to send that to my boyfriend."



I have great friends.







Ya'll be easy.

Non-Fiction

My new favorite term... interchangeable with "real talk" or "word"... you have this man to thank... appreciate it ahead of time... I hate to rob another person's vocab, but that shit is dope... LOL...

Example: "UNC is gonna win the chip this year, non-fiction..."

Ya'll be easy...

Double-You-Tee-Eff #29

Soul For Real knocked for identity theft

Not the "Candy Rain" dudes... that was my joint in 3rd grade... I had it on a cassette tape... not even the whole album, just one of the single tapes... LOL... joint had like two songs on it and I think it cost like $1.99... wow, I'm old... I do remember going up to a music store one year when I was like 12 and asking for a single tape and homie looked at me like I asked for something crazy... he was like "we just got CDs, homie..." That's when I knew an era had ended... getting older FTL...

But in any event, this is sad man... I hate when my old favorites must resort to crime and the like and doing "hoodrat things..." SMH... in honor of them, I'm going to bump "Every Little Thing I Do" three times when I get to the crib... well, probably not, but it sucks to hear anyway...

The fuck...





(peep the vid)

WOWZERS!

Just give me three and a half minutes... maybe even four...

W.A.N.T.E.D.

This is a must have... LOL... I find myself getting into this situation all the time...

Capricorn

Nicole, the resident expert on astrological signs, constantly tells me I don't act like a Capricorn... I'm not even sure what that means most of the time, so I decided to look it up... everything that is bolded are things I agree with...

The Sun in astrology stands for our inner nature, revealing the mark of our true character. The tenth sign of the zodiac, Capricorn is ruled by powerful Saturn, the planet of structure and responsibility, but it is the exaltation of Mars, the planet of action and desire! A cardinal (creative and original) sign, Capricorn governs public life and organization, combined with personal ambition and will to succeed. An earth sign, Capricorn is a loyal associate and faithful friend – although the Goat can be quite possessive and even rather jealous. (*Note: I've never been the possessive or jealous type except for a brief time when I was 14 and the girl I lost my virginity to, ended up letting my best friend at the time smash her out... but I think that's more than warranted considering how I saw her and how he saw her.)

Tenacious, logical and endowed with the capacity to work hard and long, you rarely hesitate to grasp opportunities for advancement or promotion. You are quite well-grounded, especially later in life (over 40), once you have learnt to overcome those early insecurities. More ambitious than you appear on the surface and a natural executive or manager, you set out to accomplish and are determined to succeed one way or another. Pragmatic and goal-oriented, you soon learn how to get things done, for you aspire to positions of power and authority and admire others who attain such positions.

Keys to Success
Initiative and willingness to accept responsibilities are keys to your success, but a false pride makes it hard for you to admit when you are wrong, or to ask others for help. Though you compete aggressively for what you want, you harbour an inner lack of confidence which can make you defensive. Viewing insecurity and fear as weakness, you attempt to hide such feelings, making it hard for others to get close to you.

Hard-nosed Capricorn reacts by assessing the possible worth of any given situation. The goat is a sure-footed, methodical climber. You are heading for the top of the rock, so you'll gladly work long and hard if it means getting what (or who) you want. The energy and randiness of the goat is proverbial, but you can be very lazy if you see no sense in working, or if you can achieve the same high goals in a less strenuous manner.

Structure and Reality
Your sense of humour is generally impeccable, although you fail to see the point of personal jokes at your expense. You hold grudges and will take revenge for perceived slights. The ancient emblem of Capricorn was the sea-goat, half goat and half fish. This symbolised the death of the lower mind and the birth of the spiritual. The goat was a popular sacrificial animal in days gone by.

Saturn, structure and reality, teaches an understanding of limits in all areas of life. You respond to traditional values, rules and regulations, and proper thought and behaviour at an early age, even if you reject these things later. Without a coherent structure to guide you toward your goals, you risk losing your way. Ambition and enthusiasm fade without such a structure on which to hang them. Once the reality of something is understood, it is much easier to handle and manipulate. You can be a good builder, engineer, politician, lawyer, or business executive.

Youthful Appearance
Lean Capricorn develops good eating habits early, which stand you in good stead as an adult. An innate spirit of competition makes you keen on sports, although you can be so aggressively determined to win, you can be less than gracious when you lose. Jogging, running (especially cross-country), golf, skating, hunting, wrestling, boxing, martial arts, and body-building are favorite activities. Although you probably looked older or more mature when you were young, you seem to defy the aging process, and retain a remarkably youthful appearance from your middle years well into old age.

Capricorn rules the bones and joints (especially the knees), teeth, and skin. Sensitive skin, allergies, and broken bones are problems, while worrying too much can also result in physical disorders. You suffer from insecurity and anxiety in your youth, but blossom under Saturn in your later years.

Your colors are chocolate brown, royal and navy blue, dark green, charcoal grey and red. Capricorn rules metallic lead, while the red garnet is your birthstone, which protects against accidents and falls. In some ancient societies, garnets were worn only by royalty. Capricorn flowers include the camellia, orange blossom, carnation (red), baby's breath, and magnolia.


Now I never really pay attention to horoscopes since most times they're too vague to really say anything but since I was already on my astrological kick, I decided to take a look... today, my daily horoscope said this:
Expect the best today and it should come your way. Your great energy is down to earth and practical, and you ought to see good results as early as this afternoon. Others are paying attention.

The friends who really want to have a good time will seek out your company. You're on a hot streak right now and that'll put everyone around you at ease. Laugh a little more and don't forget to flirt. You've assigned a star role to someone in your life.


This was actually for the year...

Capricorn
12/22 – 1/19
Year 2009 Overview
In order for Capricorn to accomplish their goals in 2009, intelligent brainstorming is a must. Connecting with others satisfies your mind, and friends are a source of stimulation and inspiration, adding to the scientific developments you like to explore. That said, be sure to take time for yourself. You don't have to master everything in a day.

You thrive on making new discoveries and developing opportunities. Call upon your inner guidance to help get the job done more efficiently. If you feel any uncertainty, other people are there to confirm your ideas, and allowing yourself to explore your inner thoughts will help you align yourself with a greater sense of awareness and meaningfulness.

Capricorn rarely shies away from highly concentrated work, and you are able to meet challenges as they come up in 2009. This is a time of great self-discovery and transformation for you. As you work to manifest your best possible self, you will see things from a deeper perspective than ever before. Hidden beneath your desire to work hard is the key to making your life easier. In other words, you won't have to strain as much if you surrender to a higher knowing. Using your powers of concentration to tune into universal knowledge will help you manifest your highest dreams.


I know it was too much to read for most but I thought it was interesting... LOL... this blog is for me anyway... ya'll be easy...

My Current Favorite Commercials

If Patrick Chewing doesn't make you at least chuckle, you don't have a soul... that shit is hilarious to me...


Why did everything in the back fall down too? LMAO...




I have ALWAYS thought Brinks Home Security commercials were the funniest things ever... I mean, what robber in their right mind is going to 1) rob a house at 6:45 PM and 2) do it while the people are not only there but wide the fuck awake? I mean, I understand the scenarios they come up with but I just find it humorous that they saw this girl on her treadmill and still decided to kick the damn door in... LMAO... then they hear the alarm and run away... at least it's always white guys... because I'd feel some type of way if it was always black dudes trying to rush the spot...


I thought this shit was an SNL spoof when I first saw it... I was like there's no way in the world MC Hammer and Ed McMahon did a REAL commercial together about sending gold through the mail... and I lose it everytime Hammer says "tah-doooow" LMAO


LMAO... no words for this shit... just watch...


Ayo, in the future, if I have kids and they end up trying to hook me up with somebody's grandma, that's when I will officially know that I'm on the wrong side of the hill... funny commercial though... especially when shorty was like "she thinks you're super delicious..." LMAO

dope.

Double-You-Tee-Eff #28

March 19, 2009. MediaTakeOut.com just caught wind that Superhead has put out a new blog – where she talks about promiscuous women – and how they’re STUFF can get all STRETCHED OUT.

It seems like Superhead is finally talking about stuff that she knows about.

Physically, a woman can become worn from the elements of casual sex. A single girl has the potential of sleeping with more than one man on more than one occasion. Not only does this greaten her chances of accidental pregnancy and disease, but also, to be put it gently, the potential for wear and tear. As a visual, imagine the anatomy of a female porn star. I think I've made my point.

Perpetually, the decisions you make as a single girl can severely alter the goals and plans you've been working toward. Never settle for less than what you ultimately desire in a mate, treat yourself and your body with the utmost respect and don't be afraid to be better than, a physical elitist even. For moms, don't forget you are your children's prime example and make a point to teach them well.

Well thank you Superhead (yes, that's still your name, "Karrine") for stating the super motherfucking obvious... I mean, isn't this common sense...? I guess the reason I have so much animosity for this chick is simply because she tries to come off like she's some type of person that matters, when she's just a random chick who happened to fuck a bunch of famous dudes... that's her only claim to fame, yet niggas treat this chick like she's a somebody... in any event, who doesn't know that if you fuck a bunch of dudes and don't do kegels that your shit will get stretched out...? that's like saying, if you eat a lot of fried food, your stomach will get big... well no shit Superhead!

The fuck?

My First Haiku Battle

So tonight I competed in my first ever haiku poetry battle... there were eight people, best-of-three wins... the top four move on to the next round, another best-of-three battle... then, you have the finals and another best out of three until you get a champion... I got third (or fourth) I'm still not sure because even though, I lost in two straight rounds (the other semi when all three rounds) I lost to the eventual champ, so I feel like I earned third...

In any event, I'm surprised I even made it to the semifinals because I went up against a chick whose poetry goes SO HARD... I was really like "wow, she's gonna slaughter the kid" when I walked up there but I pulled the upset... surprised the hell out of me... shit even the judges were surprised... people were like "wait a minute? WHO won?" LOL... but it was all good for me... I can't wait to do another one in two weeks...

I'm also trying to get down as a member of the Slam Poetry team and I think that will be dope because one of my overall goals in my poetry is to make the crowd go "OH SHIT!! YOU HEAR WHAT THAT NIGGA JUST SAID?!?" or at the very least, to make you laugh... LOL... so hopefully that gets poppin' in the fall... I'm excited though... I just want to keep improving...

Ya'll be easy...

Nigga, I Wanna Go to the Bunnyhouse Ranch...

Real motherfucking talk... everytime I see Cathouse on HBO that always runs through my mind... and I've decided... before I get married, I'm going... I'm going to go before I'm married just because I know of plenty of women that have this secret fantasy about being with another chick... and most likely, if I get married, my girl's gonna be a freak with the same mindset... that being said, I'm not gonna take her to this ranch so that her and some random chick can eat each other out all night while I jerk off in the corner looking like a lame... that's that bullshit... now, let me make the disclaimer, it's not on some insecure shit, like I'm scared that one of these broads will turn her out because, to be quite frank, my cunnilingus game is top notch... but that shit's just not poppin'... if I wanted to watch two girls eat each other out, I can go here and watch that shit... in any event, I'ma go at least once a year until I get married... but I digress...

I'm gonna go... and I'm gonna pick two white chicks (or maybe an Asian broad... never had one of those before) and have the time of my life... for no reason other than the fact that I can... and it's crazy because I don't even find most white chicks attractive... real talk... I'm more than sure it's plenty of bad Caucasian chicks walking around ECU but I never pay them any attention... but these girls on Cathouse always do it for me... I can't describe it... and I've always thought niggas who went the prostitute route were just lames who couldn't get any pussy, a category that I certainly do not fit into... but then the more I think about it, it's like damn... not only are these chicks professionals... they will do anything you want them to... and do that shit with a smile on their face... it ain't like when you got your old lady and she might not like giving brain, but she does it because she knows you want it... and most times it's not even any good because it's just not appealing... it's just a lot different when you meat (I mean, meet... ahem) that chick who LOVES to give head ya mean? It's so much better...

So fuck it, I'm going... I don't even care what the price is... if it's the bomb sexual experiencee I feel like it's gonna be then I'm all for it...

And this nigga Dennis gotta be like the luckiest nigga alive... Fuck Hugh Hefner, nigga... LOL...this nigga gets to fuck all these girls at his disposal for FREE... how bananas is that? To top it off, this nigga gets paid to let them fuck other niggas... that's the shit... I'm sorry... fucked up as it might sound, but being a pimp is, by far, the dopest job ever... this dude has females cooking for him, sexing him right, doing whatever they can to make HIM happy... [Phonte] I know it sounds fucked up and most won't admit it [/Phonte] but that's some dope shit... fuck what you heard...

Ya'll be easy...

Her: Parts III & IV

For the people that were keeping up with the story, I haven't forgotten about it... it's just taking a little longer to finish than I thought... LOL... but stay tuned... it should be up sometime this weekend...

W.A.N.T.E.D.

Real talk... I want one of these for the dorm room in the fall... somebody hook it up...

Damn, Breezy...

The lil' homie looks depressed...

Still A Classic Vid...

“Here It Goes Again” OK Go


I always thought this video was dope… it’s crazy how the simplest things can make such a stark contrast to the average video that comes out these days…

Frivoulous Ass Lawsuits/Child Support Payments

What constitutes you to sue me for $74 million? Just because I have it? I understand I hit your car or whatever, but your fuckin' chum-bucket of a whip wasn't even worth a cool grand and you want me to hit you off with major stacks just because I'm ballin'?? Have some fucking pride about yourself... I'll gladly pay for the damage but asking for a silly ass amount like that is retarded... your life ain't even worth $74 million... be serious, B... I'm not gonna be paying you so you can sit on your lazy ass for the rest of your life...

Same thing goes with these silly ass child support payments... I understand you're my child and I (assumingly) love you but I don't see what's so amazing about you that garners $20,000 a fucking month... you're three years old... if that's the case, just come live with me and I don't have to pay your mother a damn thing... I got no problem with a child being provided for but what the fuck is he eating that garners all that damn money...? You think I'ma give you money so you and your new boyfriend can sit on your ass while my son rocks the same pair of Forces he's had since '06... fuck outta here...

Be easy...

Sex Versus Relationships

I was having a conversation the other day with Lela about sex and relationships... she, and probably a lot of women, felt that sex without a relationship just wasn't right... I, and probably 99% of dudes, feel that sex and relationships can be indepedent of each other...

So I'm watching TV and it's yet another show about a woman getting cheated on... now while I don't condone cheating, at times, I understand it... when I look back on all the girls who cheated on me, I can see why it happened... I don't think it was right... in fact, I think it was down-right fucked up... but I can at least see why it happened... and as much as women try to act like men are the only ones who cheat, we ALL know women who are living foul... they got one dude paying all their bills, one dude who breaks her off with the pipe, one dude she keeps around because they were high school sweethearts, etc... that shit happens, B... but I digress...

Sex, to me, is all about the orgasm... if I could have sex and never cuddle with a person afterward, I don't think I'd have a major problem with it.... I would much prefer to go make a turkey sandwich, drink a Gatorade and watch TV... but I also understand that most women need that emotional closeness after sex, so most times, I chill and do the whole afterglow cuddle thing... it's no big deal... but I've also said, if the sex isn't crazy with a girl I'm chillin' with, then there's no point in being in a relationship with her because it's just not gonna work... as a person who likes sex, it needs to be good... I don't think it's unreasonable to have that as a quality that I want in a relationship...

But I've had several women tell me how sex is an emotional thing with them... that even subpar sex can still be good if there's the emotional tie (which has helped me out on those times when a brotha cums quick or goes soft... real motherfuckin' talk) so I guess that's still a good thing... I used to wonder if men ever got this way and then I think about how many guys cheat outside of marriage and it leads me to believe that we never really "grow out of it..." and that kinda concerns me...

I mean, as fucked up as this might sound, if I were to ever cheat in a boyfriend-girlfriend type relationship, yeah, I'd be wrong but the worst that would probably happen is I'd feel like shit for a few days (or weeks, depending on the situation) and she would just be like "he wasn't nothin' but a dog..." her and her girlfriends would go on some great crusade to get her groove back and convince her that the right man is out there for her... after a few months of cursing my name, she'd move on and then I'd just be known as one of her doggish exes... no harm, no foul...

But when it comes to MARRIAGE, that's a waaaay bigger thing... that's a tie of families, especially if you got kids, a mortgage, dual incomes... it's legal shit involved in that... and I don't wanna be that husband that cheats on his wife... I mean, that's one thing that literally SCARES THE TARHEEL FUCK outta me about marriage because when I'm in relationships now, we can have one bad argument and I'm already scanning for the next chick... I don't necessarily go anywhere or do anything with anybody, but the thought is always there... and when it comes to marriage, I just feel that thought would manifest and then I'd end up doing something that I would regret...

Not to mention I see so many unhappy married couples... niggas just look they hate their lives... I'm not saying ALL marriages, but the marriages that I know of... I mean, yeah, they might put a smile on their faces when it's family around but the look in their eyes tells the story... they hate the situation they're in but they stay with it either out of pride or obligation...

Which leads me back to sex... IT'S GREAT!!! It almost never disappoints... Relationships on the other hand...? Eh, not so much... if I had to choose to only have one for the rest of my life, you already know what I'd choose...

Ya'll be easy...

53 Things to do at Wal-Mart

So the homie Darren put me on to this... shit's hilarious... next time I go to Wal-Mart, I'm definitely knocking some of these off the list...

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say "Hi, I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob' and if they protest, get angry about it (violent, if necessary).
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"
15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.
19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.
20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right dammit!!" Make a scene.
21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
26. Climb things.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".
29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."
31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.
32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.
33. Take bets on the battle from above.
34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.
40. Say things like "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.
45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.
47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."
49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. Grab either single packs or family packs of condoms- and stick them in random peoples' carts.
52. Use the self-checkout aisle, slowly scan & bag a mess of stuff, when you're almost done tell the person waiting behind you that you forgot an item and you'll just be a minute... then leave the store
53. Go to the woman's section pick out a nightie and walk up to the sales clerk tell her she is the same size as your wife please try this on I want to see how it looks.

I'm gonna do this and put it on YouTube this summer... wait for that joint... LOL...

A Question for the Fellas...

...could you date a phone-sex operator? I mean, I know it's not exactly like wifing up a porn star but when you think about it, there's some similarities... she's acting slutty so that a bunch of dudes can get off... what if one of your niggas gets her number and calls everyday...? wouldn't that be kind of awkward around the crib? That's all I'm saying...

Ya'll be easy...

I Can't Decide...

...what color laces would look best in these? This is a dope shoe but I just feel like it's missing something... a little break up of the red would make it perfect so I think a lace switch would make a big difference... but I can't decide whether black, white, grey or red laces are the way to go...

decisions, decisions...

88 Keys feat. Kanye West - "Stay Up"

I promise you seven laughs off this joint...

BET Does It Again...

I've criticized BET heavily over the years and it's only because they've lacked quality content... fucking music videos all day long, showing the same fucking six videos over and over... stupid ass "Blackbuster" films that are full of modern-day coonery... there was a period of time where I wouldn't even watch BET because it was just pitiful programming...

However, today, I get home after (most likely) failing a Chemistry exam and there's this movie playing called ZigZag... it's about an autistic boy who steals some money from his boss to pay the rent for his dad... I'm doing a bad job at describing it but it was a really decent quality flick... I gotta give them credit for picking an independent film that doesn't involve random ridiculousness (i.e. The Cookout, Soul Plane)... of course, it did come on at 1 PM when most people are either at work or school so the average BET watcher won't even realize BET doing something different but I must applaud the station on this one... kudos BET...

All they need to do now is add some other cancelled shows like My Brother and Me (old Nickelodeon joint) or Me & the Boys (Steve Harvey's first sitcom) and they'll be back in my good graces... and bring back BET Uncut dammit!!!! The fuck, man...

My New Favorite Book

If you want a good read, pick this up... by far the dopest book I've EVER read for a class...

Random Ridiculousness

My sister sent this to my email... frankly, I didn't think it was all that funny but she thought it was hilarious... judge for yourselves...



The Top Ten Lesser Known Moments In Black History

10. Jebediah "Cooter" Jenkins, the first Negro to put hydraulics on a Model T Ford (circa 1910) and simultaneously creating some of the first 'playa-hatin' in Negro History!

9. Earline Wallace....the first Black woman to get her ear burnt from Madame CJ Walker's straightening comb.

8. The great,great grandson of Chicken George, young mister RJ Wallace started a small chain of restaurants in Harlem ..and in 1976 "Roscoe's' Chicken & Waffles" opened it's greasy, yet oh-so delicious doors, changing the after-clubbin' dining experience forever.

7. Born the humble son of a share cropper, Cornelius "Mandingo" Walker...The first Black porn actor.

6. Cleotis Stubbs, furthering the genius of George Washington Carver, invented the peanut butter and crackers snack, only to have it stolen by his business partner ......Bartholomew J.Nabisco!

5. Donnell Bass, first Black man to get a speeding ticket for running the red light invented by Garrett A. Morgan( Donnell is unknowingly credited as the creator of "CPT" as well)

4. Leroy R. Waters, a known ladies man, pool hustler and 1st Sunday deacon is uncredited as the first Negro on the moon....( shortly after being caught cheating by his wife the very beautiful and very large Mrs.Shirley" Boom-Boom" Waters)

3. Quinella Turner, a school teacher and proud mother of 3 who was sitting right in FRONT of Rosa Parks on that bus.... but on account of her girdle itching, she stood up...and well, the rest is history as they say.

2. Saarte' "Sissy" Jefferson is on record as the very first "chicken-head" for fighting three of her sisters over the same field hand who was transferred to the Big House... only to start sleeping with the Missy! ( thus starting an unfortunate trend with many Black men and paving the way for O.J.,Charles Barkley and Cuba Gooding to name a few!)

...and the number one moment in our"Top Ten List Of Lesser Known Moments In Negro History" (drum role please......) Shaka Demus Ekanum ; An Nigerian goat herder and wannabee' promoter who sold tickets to everyone in his village plus two others on a love cruise called "The New World ..Your One Way, Middle Passage To Paradise".....and they, or 'we' ain't been back since!

Pretty eh right? Yeah, I know...





Now this forward that Quett sent me... pure comedy: "Encouraging words: TOMORROW is not PROMISED. So punch the bitch you hate TODAY because you might not catch that bitch tomorrow."

2 Girls 1 Cup

Now, I've never seen this certain genre (I guess you can call it that) of video and I have no desire to... I don't even really see what people get out of this type of video... seeing some gross shit is not something that appeals to me... I feel like I won't be able to sleep at night... LOL... maybe it's because I have a weak stomach for stuff like that (I'm man enough to admit it) but I don't see how some people can watch them...

I mean, if you like them, more power to you... but don't send me some shit like this just to fuck up my day...

The fact that stuff like this is even on the internet lets me know that there's really some disturbed people out there and far too many of them have access to a computer... because think about it like this...

Somebody had to come up with the idea... then, FILM it... then edit it... then upload it for the internet to see... like... I don't know... I'm just going to leave it at that...

Ya'll be easy...

W.A.N.T.E.D.