Wednesday, July 29, 2009

10 Things NOT to Say to a Black Man...

I got this off of and just to entertain myself (and hopefully you) I thought I'd throw it up...

10. "So what sports do you play?"
I've been asked this on multiple occasions... more directly, I've been asked "what position do you play?" referring to me playing football... shit is mad annoying... in their defense, I did play football at one point and still look like I do... LOL... but I don't play anymore so stop asking me that shit (at least until next March when the semi-pro season starts again)

9. "Do you work here?"
The only time this didn't bother me was when I worked at Foot Locker (they have the striped uniforms if you weren't sure) and people would ask me and I would say no and start laughing... you think I came outside rocking a fucking referee's uniform? But when I'm out somewhere and someone asks me, I'm just like Martin

@3:17 "No I dooooooon't... see, because I don't work here... Why does a brother have to work at the shoe shop? Can we shop?"

8. "I heard jail is really scary."
I imagine jail is a very scary place... I wouldn't know nor do I plan on ever having to find out... I'd advise you to ask one of those niggas who keep going in and out... they must like something about it to keep going back after they get free...

7. "Hey, you look like, 'insert famous Black guy's name here.'"
Out of all the ones on this list, this one bothers me the most and ironically is the one I hear the most... Motherfucker, I don't look like him... just because we're both dark skinned, we look alike? GTFOH... Stop giving me the "You look just like Cedric the Entertainer" speil...

6. "I love your name, it's so ethnic."
This one doesn't apply to me... my name sounds mad cornbreadish... LOL

5. "Do you know where I can score some weed?"
Motherfucker, how do you know I'm not a cop? I don't smoke... even when I did smoke, I never had to search that hard to get some... nigga EVERYBODY has weed... LOL... why are you having to succumb to asking random strangers about weed salesmen...? If I wanted weed, I could get some here in 10 minutes... the fact that you're struggling to find some weed, let's me know that you should probably stop smoking...

4. "I've never dated a Black guy before."
Why the fuck should I care? Am I some type of medical experiment? Is it supposed to make me feel better that I'm going to be your first experience with a Black guy? GTFOH...

3. "I love fried chicken, too."
Who doesn't? Peep Dave Chappelle

Chicken is fucking delicious!!!

2. "Oh, I thought it would be bigger than that?"
I've never had a chick say this to me (not like I'm gassing myself up like I got a huge dick or something... just sayin'...) and if a chick says this to you, I weep for you... it's bad enough we gotta compete with these porn star ass niggas who carry 27-inch cocks and around in suitcases but then for a chick to come out of her neck and say that RIGHT TO YOUR FACE? Damn, homie... real talk, if a chick said this to me, I'd just put my clothes on and leave... LOL... what can you say to some shit like that?

1. "So is it really that big?"
I don't know why this made the list... LOL... this is a good thing to say to any man, whether he be Black, green, yellow or mechanical robot...


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