In any event... enjoy:
You Know What REALLY Grinds My Gears? (4)
YOU KNOW WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS?
Eating Fish. I hate this shit. Well, let me rephrase. It's not so much eating it. It's just having to pick through all those fucking bones. I mean it's like exercise doing this shit. I'm eating and it's like *chew* *chew* (oh shit is that a bone?) *chew* (yeah, that is a fucking bone) *pull out the bone* *chew* (aw man, another one of these shits?) *pull out another bone* *chew* *chew* *chew* *cough* (oh shit, I'm choking!) I mean it's just fucking tiresome. Why can't I just put it in my mouth and eat? Why do I have to perform surgery just to enjoy some fish? I mean I end up with more bones and breading on my plate than fish in my stomach. It's like what's the fucking point? People call me up for a fish fry are playing with their lives because they're liable to get cussed out. Unless it's boneless fish, in which case, hit a nigga up.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Cheaters. Now I'm not talking about the show because I actually find that shit quite hilarious. People out having a good time, thinking its is all gravy and whatnot. Niggas sippin' pina coladas, all hugged up and shit in the back of the club and then BAM! all of a sudden, Joey Greco shows up a with three cameramen asking a bunch of questions. That amuses me. But no, I'm simply talking about the act of cheating. I really don't understand this shit. I mean, to me it seems people cheat because they're not happy with their relationship in some way. And if that's the case, why not just break up with that person? I mean it just doesn't make any sense. If I'm happy, why do I need to go outside of the source of my happiness to be with somebody else? It really just makes no sense. I mean, people come to me for advice and they're talking about how they're not happy with their partner, so they get this person on the side and I'm like 'well if you have to do all that, then what's the use of keeping the person in the first place?' Just leave them alone! Move on, for real. All that shit about about 'I don't wanna be alone' and 'I been with them X amount of years' is bullshit. Nobody wants to be alone and obviously you won't be if you're cheating with somebody else. That makes no sense. How do you have two or three or four people but claim you'll be alone if you break up with Person A? I mean, I was pretty decent at math so I'm sure my subtraction is up to par. I mean why would you stunt your potential amount of happiness just to be with somebody that doesn't bring joy to your life? It's dumb as hell, so stop that shit.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Paparazzis. These motherfuckers have nothing better to do than take pictures of people who don't want pictures taken of them. What the fuck? The other day I'm watching some shit on tv about how Lindsay Lohan is walking around with no panties on. Now, how the fuck do they know that is what I wanna know. So they show how they have pictures of her not wearing any draws. What kinda shit is that? That's fucking personal. Now granted, I don't make this a practice, but if I happen to walk around with no boxers on one day, I don't want errbody to know that shit. That's crossing the fucking line. I don't care if she's a celebrity or whatever you wanna call her, but damn let a nigga live is all i'm saying. And I mean they can't even just eat a meal out somewhere without a nigga poppin' up with a fucking camera. Can you imagine how annoying that must be? Imagine you out at Red Lobster. You chompin' on some cheddar biscuits and a salad or whatever it is you happen to eat at Red Lobster (I happen to like the shrimp and lobster alfredo... shit is bomb) and a nigga just bust in and start snapping photos and shit of you eating. You'd be like "ayo, what the fuck?" I know I would be. That's a fucking problem. Or you out at Disney World with your family and they just sitting beside your ass on the rollercoaster while you trying to ride with your daughter, that's bullshit.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
truth Commercials. I swear these people got to be the most annoying motherfuckers on the face of the planet. We know drugs are bad, you jackass. I don't, however, need to hear that shit every 45 seconds. I don't even smoke and that shit gets on my nerves, so I know people who get blunted are mad as fuck right now. And now I see they got this new one with a girl's dog telling her how HE don't like it when she smokes. Let me tell you something. First off, I'm YOUR owner. I don't give a fuck what you like. If you don't like it you can bark your ass on somewhere else. I feed you and give you a home. You should be lucky to even get real dog food from me. My grandma just used to give her dog the plate of leftovers when I was growing up. You're so fucking privileged! Who the fuck are you to talk to me about my lifestyle when you eat your own vomit and chase your tail for hours at time? You're a fucking pooch, play your postion. Secondly, if your dog is giving you advice on life, kill yourself because you're in a way worse fucking position than anybody else. I mean drugs are the LEAST of your problems right now, homie. I mean that's fucking scary. Imagine you out walking and your dog just starts chatting to you about the war in Iraq or something. I'd bug the fuck out. But i digress. Drugs are bad. I am in no way condoning their use or anything like that, but stop with this shit. It's fucking 2007. You ain't saving nobody's life; you're just being a fucking pest. You think I give a fuck wihat tobacco companies have to say about my black ass? Them motherfuckers are rich! So unless they gonna throw a nigga a bag full of money, fuck 'em. People know what drugs do. We have to hear about this shit from the day we turn six years old. I know a million crackheads so I don't need anybody to tell me what drugs do. I seen that shit firsthand.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Nugrape. I swear this is the nastiest fucking soda ever created next to whatever the fuck Vanilla Coke is supposed to be. My grandma used to force-feed me barrels of this nasty shit growing up. Just because it happened to be six cents cheaper than something 84,392 times better. And I know I'ma get some comments about how people say they like this drink and it's great, well congratulations, but frankly I think it's fucking gross. It's my opinion and this is my blog, so haha, I win.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Baby Moms Asking Their Celebrity Baby Fathers for $100,000 a Month for Their Kids. I seriously have a fucking problem with this. If my mother can raise me and two other kids on $22,000 a year (and sometimes less) than why can't they? I mean, granted. The fathers should take care of their kids, nobody's denying that. But what the fuck? Stop the madness. What the fuck is this kid eating that it costs that much? I mean if it's being put up for the kids schooling or something, then that's admirable. But let's be for real. Most of them ain't doing that shit. They just blowing it EVERY FUCKING MONTH. They ain't investing it or anything. And then two years go by and they say they need an increase. And to me it's just fucking disgracseful. It's fucking selfish because we all know it's not all going towards the kids. A good 75% (at least in my estimations because I've how people use and take advantage of child support) goes towards the mother's own selfish wants and not the kids' needs. And it's more about greed and what the mothers can get before that child turns 18 than anything else. Now I know not all of the mothers are like that but I'm just saying how I see it with a lot of what I've seen and heard.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
People Always Asking You For Money. What kinda shit is this? I mean is it me or do the same motherfuckers hit you up on every single payday? "Ayo, let me hold something, G" and then you don't see this nigga until you get paid again. I mean, come on, fam. Just go get a fucking job. Stop being a loser, tryna get at me for $15 and borrowing everything. Now if you gonna pay me back, then that's cool. THAT we can talk about. But all this 'let me hold something' shit needs to stop. Let GREG borrow some money. Shit. I got bills I need to pay. A beautiful woman who I like to take out (and who I'm missing like crazy, by the way). Nigga trying to start saving up money to invest. Help ME out.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Fake Sneakers. If one more person comes in to Foot Locker asking me about some black, green and yellow Jordans, I'ma go crazy. Let me put out a public service announcement. I AM A SNEAKERHEAD. I KNOW sneakers. I know not all Foot Locker employees do, but I most certainly do. I know the colorways of Jordans and that is certainly not one of them in any of the 22 versions of Jordans. Get your sneaker knowledge game up, for real. Go to
and learn a thing or two. And since when is rocking fakes a good look? Way too many people are comfortable with that shit. If you can't afford them, then maybe Jordans just aren't the the shoe for you. Ain't no shame in rocking some cheaper shoes. And I don't mean some $45 swapmeet, fake ass clear Jordans, I'm talking just Forces or some New Balances. Nothing wrong with that. I wasn't able to afford Jordans until I got a job at Foot Locker so I spent 21 years rocking OTHER shoes. Not some bullshit fakes. And the audacity of you niggas to try to tell ME you ain't paying $150 for some shoes when you can get them for $45 is fucking retarded. You're NOT getting Jordans, you dumb fuck. That's what you don't get. Tryna convince me that you're "fresh" with that shit is on is a sure way to get your ass laughed at. So, for real. Stop it. You're a fucking clown.
...and that's what grinds my gears. Back to you, Tom.
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