Sex Versus Relationships

I was having a conversation the other day with Lela about sex and relationships... she, and probably a lot of women, felt that sex without a relationship just wasn't right... I, and probably 99% of dudes, feel that sex and relationships can be indepedent of each other...

So I'm watching TV and it's yet another show about a woman getting cheated on... now while I don't condone cheating, at times, I understand it... when I look back on all the girls who cheated on me, I can see why it happened... I don't think it was right... in fact, I think it was down-right fucked up... but I can at least see why it happened... and as much as women try to act like men are the only ones who cheat, we ALL know women who are living foul... they got one dude paying all their bills, one dude who breaks her off with the pipe, one dude she keeps around because they were high school sweethearts, etc... that shit happens, B... but I digress...

Sex, to me, is all about the orgasm... if I could have sex and never cuddle with a person afterward, I don't think I'd have a major problem with it.... I would much prefer to go make a turkey sandwich, drink a Gatorade and watch TV... but I also understand that most women need that emotional closeness after sex, so most times, I chill and do the whole afterglow cuddle thing... it's no big deal... but I've also said, if the sex isn't crazy with a girl I'm chillin' with, then there's no point in being in a relationship with her because it's just not gonna work... as a person who likes sex, it needs to be good... I don't think it's unreasonable to have that as a quality that I want in a relationship...

But I've had several women tell me how sex is an emotional thing with them... that even subpar sex can still be good if there's the emotional tie (which has helped me out on those times when a brotha cums quick or goes soft... real motherfuckin' talk) so I guess that's still a good thing... I used to wonder if men ever got this way and then I think about how many guys cheat outside of marriage and it leads me to believe that we never really "grow out of it..." and that kinda concerns me...

I mean, as fucked up as this might sound, if I were to ever cheat in a boyfriend-girlfriend type relationship, yeah, I'd be wrong but the worst that would probably happen is I'd feel like shit for a few days (or weeks, depending on the situation) and she would just be like "he wasn't nothin' but a dog..." her and her girlfriends would go on some great crusade to get her groove back and convince her that the right man is out there for her... after a few months of cursing my name, she'd move on and then I'd just be known as one of her doggish exes... no harm, no foul...

But when it comes to MARRIAGE, that's a waaaay bigger thing... that's a tie of families, especially if you got kids, a mortgage, dual incomes... it's legal shit involved in that... and I don't wanna be that husband that cheats on his wife... I mean, that's one thing that literally SCARES THE TARHEEL FUCK outta me about marriage because when I'm in relationships now, we can have one bad argument and I'm already scanning for the next chick... I don't necessarily go anywhere or do anything with anybody, but the thought is always there... and when it comes to marriage, I just feel that thought would manifest and then I'd end up doing something that I would regret...

Not to mention I see so many unhappy married couples... niggas just look they hate their lives... I'm not saying ALL marriages, but the marriages that I know of... I mean, yeah, they might put a smile on their faces when it's family around but the look in their eyes tells the story... they hate the situation they're in but they stay with it either out of pride or obligation...

Which leads me back to sex... IT'S GREAT!!! It almost never disappoints... Relationships on the other hand...? Eh, not so much... if I had to choose to only have one for the rest of my life, you already know what I'd choose...

Ya'll be easy...