Fuck You, Ranch Dressing...

This seemingly harmless condiment has become the bane of my existence today... what was supposed to be a relatively calm day that was supposed to lead into a cool ass weekend has been bombarded by arguments stemming from a discussion about ranch dressing...

YES, YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

See, I love ranch dressing... well, I loved ranch dressing... loved it so much, it's ended up leading me down a road to despair... I didn't realize it until today, but there are certain foods I don't even care for until the addition of ranch dressing has commenced... these foods include but are not limited to:

-honey BBQ wings

-spaghetti

-salad

-pizza

And over the past several days, it appears that I have consumed almost an entire bottle of Ranch dressing while eating these foods and this is where the problem comes in...

Nicole is scared I'm going to die...

not tonight or tomorrow, but some day, prematurely, I'm going to pass away because of my bad eating habits such as eating too much ranch dressing or just eating too much in general... and though this is one of those times where I'm annoyed that somebody's trying to tell me how concerned they are about my eating habits but also elated that somebody cares enough to call me out on that shit, I get her point... I really do... I don't wanna die... in my defense, I don't do it often because most times, with the exception of salad, I don't eat any of these foods on what someone would call a regular basis... but I still understand that with my family history, my own personal history and my current health, I can't keep doing shit like this... even in moderation...

That being said, I'm adding ranch dressing to the list of foods that I refuse to consume anymore...

Ya'll be easy...