Random Thoughts on Relationships...

My friends constantly hit me up with different stories about relationships... and as I've said since day one, I will never air out somebody's dirty laundry for lulz... that's just not me... if I was going to subject my readers to anything about my friend's lives, it would be in complete anonymity so unless you address the situation (i.e. "HW, how you gonna tell ALLLLLLLL my business like that?") no one would know who I was talking about... so that's gonna be the basis of today's blog... I've been meaning to do this for a minute but I haven't gotten around to it... if you're reading this and think/assume this story is about your personal situation, like I said, don't think I'm doing this just to be funny... I'm just trying to provide some insight for you or someone who might be in a similar situation...


Random Thought #1
That brotha is not gonna change... when you first met him, he was trying to fuck... you thought it was cute back then because you'd just gotten out of that other relationship and you wanted to feel good about yourself... you let him fuck and now you're mad that everytime he calls you, it's because he want to do just that... but how can you be surprised? I mean this with the utmost humility: EVERY DUDE IS NOT LIKE ME... lol... am I the type to fuck on a first date? Yes... but I wouldn't treat you like a smut and/or not call you afterwards... most dudes will treat you like a smut though... so don't be surprised if you give a dude the cakes on the first night and then decides you're never going to move past jump-off status...

Random Thought #2
Stop thinking that you need a boyfriend/man/husband to be happy... you don't... if there's one thing another person can't do, it's be your sole means of happiness... I'm with Nicole because she MAKES me happy... not because she MADE me happy... you feel me? I was perfectly fine not being in a relationship before I met her and despite how I feel about her, I would still be happy if for some reason we didn't work out... that's not to say I wouldn't be hurt over it at first... but I don't forsee myself never being happy again... I understand you don't wanna be lonely and I'm not telling you to be... when I was single, I was always dating... I was hardly ever alone... I'm not saying I was fucking a bunch of different people... but it was nothing for me to take a girl to the movies on Tuesday afternoon, chill with another chick on Tuesday night and then go to dinner with somebody on Wednesday night... I don't see the harm in that if you're single...

Random Thought #3
Stop being such a huge bitch... how can you say you want a man but you're a fucking asshole to every dude you come across because you think they're all out to hurt you...? Herein lies the problem... stop giving your heart to every dude you meet with a nice smile and some money in the bank... you go out on one good date and you're ready to make a nigga your boyfriend... then after a month, you find out he's fucking somebody else and you feel like he's a hoe for it... but that shit's not fair... you have to realize that just because your heart is in it that doesn't mean his heart is in it... this is where communication comes in... this goes into RT#4

Random Thought #4
STOP PLAYING ALL THESE DAMN GAMES!!! This shit should really be Thought 4-15 but I don't wanna do it that way... I'ma just say this... if you like somebody, fucking tell them... you expend all this extra energy going through a nigga's phone records, Facebook page, mutual friends just to see if a dude is feeling you instead of just asking... stop making arguments just to get some attention...

Random Thought #5
Stop looking for what's wrong with people... everytime you meet a good dude, the first thing you do is try to figure out what's wrong with him instead of focusing on his positives... like when I first met Nicole, she just couldn't get over the fact that I was only five-foot-eight... LOL... and me, I've been this height since LITERALLY the third grade, so it doesn't bother me but it was clarly something that she felt was a bad thing and she just wouldn't hush about it... I've never understood why women do this... this dude will be perfect but they'll say some dumb shit like "well, he's just a janitor..." do janitor's paychecks not cash just like yours? Just because that's what he's doing now doesn't mean that's what he plans to be doing forever... at least the nigga has a job... LOL... Stop looking through the nigga's phone waiting to find something that (out of context) doesn't add up... just because she said "hey sweetie" in a text, you're assuming that him and this chick just HAVE to be fucking... maybe she calls everybody sweetie... stop trying to justify going through somebody's phone by saying "well if you don't have anything to hide, it shouldn't be a problem..." What ever happened to trusting the motherfucker you lay up under every night? I've always said if you can't trust somebody, then don't be with them... you can't trust somebody based on what you've seen... you put your friend in a room with your man and he didn't wind up fucking her, so now you trust him... that's not how it works... you simply have to believe in the character of the person you're with or it's not going to work...

Random Thought #6
Stop giving these "I'm not telling you what to do but..." quasi-ultimatums... Nicole does this but I've had people do it way worse... this is when ya'll are arguing and it comes up that they don't like something (usually it's SOMEBODY) and it becomes "Well, I'm not trying to tell you who you can be friends with but if you keep being friends with her, we're not going to be together..." LOL... and women, for whatever reason, feel like that's not basically giving a ultimatum when it can't be seen as anything but that... you think because you say "I'm not trying to tell you what to do" at the beginning that it's not the same thing? This goes back to number four... just say what you want and quit trying to sugarcoat it...

Random Thought #7
Stop talking about how you HAVE to be married by 30 or it's gonna be a problem... since when does love have to happen by a certain time or it's somehow less valid...? I understand the whole risk of having babies after 30 and all that comes with it but if you want to have a kid that bad, then just go ahead and have it... if you don't wanna have it out of wedlock then guess what? YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO (Note: I've never understood this quote because it doesn't make any fucking sense... why would I want to have cake if I couldn't eat it...? That's just dumb as hell... what purpose does cake serve just sitting on my fucking counter? But I digress...) Putting a time limit on love is an assured way to wind up in divorce court... marry because you love someone... not because you met them on your 28th birthday and feel like you're running out of time...



I guess that's all for now... I'm sure I'll be back with more later on...




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