What Men Really Want...

For those that are unaware, your boy HW has a lot of female friends (almost too many at times it seems) and while some are failed relationship attempts, a good part of them are just platonic friends... and these friends will ask me about my thoughts on everything from food to sex to love to school because they know I'll give them an honest and complete answer to most things...

One thing in particular that seems to be the main point of conversation lately is men... let me put it plainly... I'm not an expert on relationships... if I was I'd have better luck with them... my longest relationship was about seven months and even still that seemed like it dragged on too long... I am however, an expert on men... not only because I am one, but also because I've seen where men fail and succeed in all aspects of life... I know what makes us tick, what makes us angry, sad, etc...

Women seem to be unsure of what it is that men really want... and I think it's funny and confusing all at the same time because the answer is simple... men wanna be happy... period... if you can find out what makes your man happy, then your job is done... that's ALL you have to do... if your man likes Mexican food, make him some tacos every once in a while... if your man likes basketball, buy him tickets to a game... if your man likes wild freaky sex complete with midgets, whips and chocolate sauce, I'd advise you to get a new man unless you happen to be a 3-foot-4 dominatrix made out of chocolate...

And while most women are already trying to figure out a way to think of what the particular man in their life likes the most, here's where it gets even easier... ASK HIM!! Stop analyzing, re-analyzing and overanalyzing what he MIGHT or COULD like and instead... just ask him... I'm 99% sure he's going to give you the answer you're looking for... (might not be the answer you WANT but it'll be the answer you're LOOKING FOR... there is a difference...)

Also, all this bullshit about all men want is sex is straight-up nonsense... we want food sometimes too... ok, that was a bad joke... but seriously, men want more than sex... this might sound harsh but if all a man wants from you is sex, then that means, that's all you have to offer to him... I mean, I know everybody just gasped like "HW! How dare you say something like that!?!" LOL... but it's the truth... all the JOs from my past didn't have anything going for them except a nice body or a good head game... if a man doesn't enjoy your company anytime before 11PM then that probably means your company is wack but your sex is cool...

Also, men want to be left alone sometimes... BUT just because I don't wanna be beside you at every moment of the day, that doesn't mean I don't generally like you... it just means I want some time to myself...

Men are simple beings... all that emotional, irrational, analytical shit that women do 25 hours a day is not the case for us... that's exactly why when you're crying, instead of us trying to figure out what it is, we'll just ask you... it's easier that way... so to make it easier on YOU, if there's something you're wondering about, just ask us and we'll be more than happy to fill you in...

One last note: All those magazines that have 1,000 New Ways To Please Your Man on the cover are full of shit... unless it involves fellatio, cooking or you somehow being naked... non-fiction...


Ya'll be easy...