Another Paige Conversation Post

So last night, me and Paige were having a conversation about fellatio... (don't ask me how we got on the subject...) I was telling her how one of my exes was a freak (not sexy freaky... like weird, bizarre, "oh-my-God-you-like-that-type-of-shit" freaky) but that she wasn't great at giving head... to which Paige replied "how can head be bad?"

ALLOW ME TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION, IF YOU WILL...

Head can be horribly bad... it's happened to me on more occasions than I would have liked... so I'm going to list all the ways head can be bad...

1. Teeth
This goes without saying... gnawing on a nigga's foreskin is not the way to go... a little (and I mean, VERY LITTLE) can be ok but as the saying goes "a little goes a long way" and this is definitely the case with fellatio... bite marks on the penis is NOT the biz...

2. Not Actually Sucking
I don't know how many of my dudes have come across this certain problem but this seems to be the most recurring offense... how you gonna suck a dick without sucking it? LOL... merely putting your mouth on it is retarded... a bunch of licking without sucking is just as bad... SUCK THAT SHIT... if you're not gonna suck, well then just get the hell up....

3. Not Being Into It
I hate when this happens... I'm not saying you gotta be all Jada Fire with it but damn, at least act like it's not killing you to be giving head at this particular moment... I understand it's a completely selfless act and God forbid that you're not being stimulated right now*, but come onnnnnnn... be a woman about that shit... LOL... non-fiction... acting like this shit is boring you is not going to get me hard/make me cum any faster...
*most women can't be stimulated and give good head anyway... so I don't know why you're trippin'...

4. Teeth
Did I say teeth already? Oh, well never mind...

5. Only Doing It For a Few Minutes
What part of the game is this? If you were gonna do it for that long, then you might as well not even done it... you don't have to put up Kobe-in-double-overtime-with-the-game-on-the-line-type minutes but if only 300 seconds have passed from beginning to end, that's a problem... I'm a good sport... I'm not going to keep you down there forever...

6. Acting Like You're the Best at This Shit
You're not...

7. Sucking Too Hard
Don't attack it like you're trying to suck out every single nerve ending in my jawn... like the homie from Dem Franchize Boyz said... "I like it slow and sloppy..." that's the best advice I could give to any woman...




Ya'll be easy...