In any event... enjoy:
You Know What REALLY Grinds My Gears? (5)
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
People Who Get Offended By Everything. Stop with all your fucking whining. You sound like a little crybaby. "Oh no, my child just heard somebody say 'damn' on the television!" Well, fuck, shit, ass, bitch, piss, dick, coochie, pussy. They're just words lady and he's gonna hear it up until the day he dies. I mean, I understand you wanna shield your kids away from some things, but he's 15. Let the lil' nigga live, my God. In my opinion it's better to let kids absorb some things while they're young so that when they get older it's not such a huge shock.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Charmin Commercials. I'm tired of seeing this big fucking grizzly bear and his kids wiping their big bear asses on TV all the time. Bears don't use toilet paper. This is such a fucking stupid commercial. And they all smiling and shit when they wipe their ass. Ionno about you but I hardly ever have a big ass grin on my face when I'm taking a shit. It's all about concentration and focus. The fact that Charmin thinks I'm so stupid that I don't realize that bears don't actually care much about hygiene fucking offends me. It's a fucking bear. How can a bear give me reasonable advice on what kind of tissue to use? Fuck you, Charmin!
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Stupid Fucking Hip-Hop Songs. Have you heard this "Ay-bay-bay" shit? I mean what does it take to get signed these days? I mean hip-hop has died a grueling and painful death at the hands of these retarded ass songs. And what makes it worse is that people actually like that shit. What THE fuck? I can't believe shit like this gets played meanwhile I can't get a Talib Kweli song played to save my life and the only song people know by Mos Def is "Ms. Fat Booty." That's just fucking astonishing. Why is "Sexy Lady" a Top 10 song? WHY?!? I beg of somebody to explain this to me. I mean I have to listen to this bullshit at work, so please do me a favor. Like some better songs, so I can listen to better shit. This is just fucking irritating.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
People that Fuck With Nature/Animals. Why are you fucking with the alligators? Have you ever seen people who fuck with alligators? Alligator is just sitting there minding his own businesss, tryna kick some G to the crocodile next to him, trying to get some of that sweet crocodile pussy or whatever they be talkin' about and people just come and fuck with them. You cock-blocking son of a bitch-- no wonder he just bit a 73-pound chunk out your ass. Why are people chasing tornadoes and shit? Do you KNOW what tornadoes do? Obviously not because you're chasing one. I hope it catches you and spits ur ass out in the middle of Iowa somewhere. People go swimming out in the middle of the ocean and wonder why they get eaten by sharks. Cuz it's a fucking shark! That's what sharks do. A shark will eat a car if you let it. And you think that it's not gonna do that to you when you swimming right along side fish and dolphins and all that shit? You're a dumb ass.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Cheery-Ass People. I hate you motherfuckers with a passion. What is there to be so damn cheery about? I feel like i should just trip you and push you off the curb so you can stop being so damn cheery. It is 7:30 in the morning and you up all ready to attack the day and all that shit. I hope you sit on a tack. EVERYBODY is groggy in the morning. WHY AREN'T YOU? How can people stand to be around you when you're so annoying simply by your being alive? I just don't get it.
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Microwave Dinners. They suck ass. Period. Especially stuff like lasagna and pizza. It's horrible. And they can't convince me that it tasted good before they froze it because it's not true. I freeze stuff all the time. And when I thaw it ou and recook it, it's GOOD. It tastes just like it would if I hadn't bothered putting it in the freezer. Sometimes it tastes even better. That leads me to believe that the people who make microwave dinners need to stop with the bullshit. The nerve of these people to get my hopes up thinking that this meatloaf is ACTUALLY gonna taste like meatloaf is deplorable. How dare you losers insult my intelligence with this shit?
YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS?
Females Catching Attitudes When You Speak to Them. I don't need your number, lady. All I asked you was the time. Every dude that talks to you isn't tryna get in your panties. I have a beautiful woman in m life, so I have no reason to go elsewhere. I just wanted to let you know that you had a big ass jelly stain on the back of your shirt. I swear y'all be killn' me with that.
...and that's what really grinds my gears. Diane?
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