24 Confessions

1.) To Mommy: back in '98 when Lil' Mark was staying with us and your coffee table was broken and I told you he knocked the basketball out of my hand and it broke... um, yeah... that was all my fault... I was just dribbling in the front room and lost control of the ball and it hit the wall and went through the table...

2.) To Shea: I actually did cheat on you... with a married chick... we never did anything physically, we just talked on the phone... she wasn't planning to leave her husband or anything but we always talked about being together... it's the one and only time I've ever cheated...

3.) To Jamal: I really am envious of you... not that I resent you or anything but I honestly wish I could be just like you... you're living the life I wish I was living...

4.) To Sherra': I planned to propose January 1st, 2010 right after the New Year's kiss with a 3-carat diamond ring...

5.) To Melissa: I just recently got over you... like... weeks ago...

6.) To Charles: I thought of you like the big brother I always wanted...

7.) To Amesha: I've always loved you and probably always will but I realize it's never going to happen because you're always going to be with Alton even though he doesn't deserve you...

8.) To Candi: Everytime I see you, I get flustered... it's been that way ever since the very first time I saw you...

9.) To Mike: I miss you like a motherfucker... I know that's some borderline homo shit to say but it's the truth... you're my nigga and we don't hang out nearly as much as we used to...

10.) To Niecey: You are by far the best cuddler I've come across as of yet...

11.) To Yolanda: I didn't have a job in the past 6 months... I just said that so I wouldn't have to hear your mouth... and oh yeah, I wasn't in school either...

12.) To Jill: Even though I don't want anything bad to happen to you, I don't consider us friends anymore... I really don't desire to see you ever again...

13.) To Nicole: I didn't tell you about me going to the army because I honestly don't think you believe in me as much as I think you should... I figured you'd try to talk me out of it or crack jokes that it would never happen...

14.) To B, Marcus, O and Charles: Last spring, I didn't come to Greenville because I was embarrassed about my life, not because I had to work... plus, I didn't have any money... I had like $30 to my name...

15.) To Uncle Gate: I used to watch porn right in front of you while you slept...

16.) To Grandma Pauline: I like Aunt April's macaroni-and-cheese better than I like your spaghetti but I thought your feelings would be hurt if I told you, so I always said it was a tie...

17.) To Quin: I did it on purpose...

18.) To Grandma Betty: I don't come see you as often as I should and I have no good reason why...

19.) To my father: I seriously considered buying a gun and killing you in your sleep...

20.) To Tunisha: I'm as much to blame as Eugene is for the way he acts... when we were younger, I introduced him to weed, females and general bullshit... so I feel responsible for him being a deadbeat father and that's why I always offer to help you out...

21.) To Quett: Sometimes, when you call, I ignore it... it's nothing personal but more often than not, we end up just holding the phone and not talking about anything interesting...

22.) To my entire family: I'm not coming home for Christmas this year... I'm going to New York... I already found a hotel...

23.) To Jailyn: Everytime I look at you, I see the son I wish me and Quin had had... ironically we were planning to name him Jaylen...

24.) To Jasmine: I think you're an ungrateful bitch and a very confused little girl... when the smoke clears, I hope you realized who was really your friend and who wasn't...