Thursday, September 24, 2009

Bananas...


I'm still on Madden but this 2K10 is looking sexy...

The 10 Days That Changed My Life

I saw this on another blog so I figured I'd try my hand at it... hopefully it doesn't come off as too lame... LOL



- The day I got my first apartment. Man, I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO geeked this day... at the time, I didn't even want it because 1) I was still trying to get back with my girlfriend at the time and 2) I didn't have anything to put in it... LOL... it was literally just me, my computer, my clothes and a few pans... after a few months I had it poppin' though...

- The day I left East Carolina the first time. This day was so bittersweet for me... it was the first semester where I had a bunch of friends around... I couldn't even step outside the door without people tryna see what was good with me... but it was also the time for me to leave... I wasn't getting what I needed out of school... plus I was feeling burned out... just so much was going on...

- The day I had a threesome. It was the first time I was ever disappointed by sex... not because the sex was bad but just because as a teenage boy, you put a threesome on such a high pedestal... like "one chick is off the chain, then two has to be bananas!!" But it wasn't... LOL... I mean, the "preliminaries" were pretty dope but the actual act of it was eh at best...

- The day I got high for the first time. This night just makes me laugh... from the time I was about 12, people had been trying to get me high... I always turned it down... not because I was scared or trying to be a goody-goody but ionno... just wasn't my steez... so I told my homie at the time, the day after I graduate from high school, let's get blizzed... so me, him and one of my other homies just smoked and smoked and smoked... we got sooooooooooo high... LOL... afterwards we went to McDonalds and ate so much food... it was just a dope night... I don't even smoke now though...

- The day of Anthony's funeral. This day absolutely broke my fucking heart... like, the way he died... well, it's kinda hard to put into words (which is ironic because I'm actually working on a poem about it... LOL) but it was just a hard day... he was the first person that was close to me that died...

- The day I moved back home from Greensboro. I had so much fun in Greensboro but the way things ended... it just brought so much to light... my experience in Greensboro was so dope but so hard at the same time... I just wasn't ready to survive on my own quite yet... if I were to move back, I think I'd be able to handle it better...

- The day I decided to come back to East Carolina. Self-explanatory... I needed to be back here to finish my degree as well as catch up on the college experience I missed out on the first time around... it's going as well as expected I guess... LOL

- The day I got in my first fight. Realizing I had the power to easily inflict my will onto another human being how I saw fit was so amazing to me... surprisingly, I never abused it by becoming a bully or anything but it was still an incredible feeling...

- The day that I went to Atlanta. For me to only have $20 in my pocket, I had a crazy amount of fun there... unfortunately, I haven't been able to go back and I'm still considering moving there once it's all said and done but it's still kinda up in the air...

- The day I discovered spoken word. I don't have the flow to be rapper and writing novels can be a tedious process... the perfect medium: spoken word... I can spit with passion without spending months writing a transcript...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Only in Hockey...

I love how whenever there's a fight in football or basketball (read: black sports *ahem*) it's always they're animals and they have no sense of sportsmanship and all this other shit, but let a white dude slam another white dude into some fucking ice and white people cheer and laugh and talk about how great it was... (never mind the fact that the dude could've been dead after that shit... duke didn't even fucking move at first...) I'm not saying they should add fighting in football and basketball, I just think its interesting that it's ok in one aggressive sport (that just HAPPENS to feature a mostly white audience and mostly white players) but in other sports, it's a "travesty" LOL...

*Sarcasm*



While I'm kinda neutral on this whole health care reform bill (I see the good it does but my girl works at an insurance company and would basically be out of a job if/when it passes...) I still thought this was funny... LOL

I LOLed...

Be a Shark


"Most sharks need to constantly swim in order to breathe and cannot sleep very long, if at all, or they will sink.

Be a shark. The day you stop swimming is the day you start slipping and let others catch up to you. Don't get eaten up by a school of Rookie-ass guppies just because you wanted to relax. And in order to be at the top of the food chain, you must prove yourself to be a superior predator. Must be Frightening yet fascinating. Be a shark. Be a threat.

Some sharks sleep with only one brain hemisphere at a time, thus maintaining enough consciousness to breathe and to watch for possible predators and other threats."




That's good ass advice... be a shark today!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I Keep Tellin' Ya'll Some Women Are Crazy...

(Ripped from FML)
Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML



Seriously? SMH...

Monday, September 21, 2009

Affion Crockett is a Fool!

Damn, What an Improvement!!

These jawns make them look like an actual team instead of those semi-pro league joints they've been wearing... that white is SUPER-OFFICIAL...

I Need to Pull the Trigger on These...

LOL @ This Dude Chad 8-5...

She's WIldin'...


Happy Birthday Little Sister!!!

22 years??!? Damn, we're getting old... remember when we used to go to grandma's house on track out and that time we got in trouble for eating our lunches too early? Or when we used to go to Grandma Betty's house to get bowls of cereal when we were hungry and then just bounce? LMAO... Those were the days... happy birthday, young'n...

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Double-You-Tee-Eff #98

Shaheed Wright, 25 of East Orange, told his son the drugs were candy after he hid several bags of cocaine in his son's jacket following an alleged run-in with Newark police, according to city police spokesman Detective Todd McClendon.

Wright was arrested at his South Munn Avenue residence this afternoon and charged with endangering the welfare of a child, possession of a controlled substance and possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute.

The children, identified as one girl and three boys, were all four years of age. A teacher at the daycare center had the children taken to Beth Israel around 9:30 a.m. when they noticed the girl had a foreign object in her mouth, which was later identified as a small plastic bag filled with cocaine, McClendon said.

Source




Goodness gracious...

Next Day Air

So last night, me and the wife were watching Next Day Air... to put it plainly, movie's fucking hilarious... if you haven't seen it, go to your local Redbox and cop... so today, I'm being the incredible nerd that I am and looking at some of the comments on IMDb.com and I come across this bullshit (the racist's comments are in italics; HW's comments are in bold):


1. No attempt was made by the director to make the acting convincing. (First off, the acting, ESPECIALLY for it to be a hood-type movie, was really good... even Eddie Winslow as a gangster was decent... secondly, Benny Boom directed that shit... what does he know about acting? LOL)

2. The actors are terrible and poorly cast. Many of the female characters are just good-looking hoochie mamas given roles so someone involved in the movie could sleep with them. (The few women that are in this movie HAD roles as "good looking hoochie mamas" so that doesn't even make sense... LOL... with the exception of Debbie Allen playing Donald Faison's mom, there were three women: two hookers and Jesus' girlfriend, a fast talking Puerto Rican chick... I mean, wtf? It doesn't take Meryl Streep to play a hooker... LMAO)

3. Nobody is taking the movie seriously. (What type of losers take movies seriously? Especially comedies? And in this case, this isn't even the type of movie to take seriously... it's not like it's The Pursuit of Happyness or some shit... LOL this comment was just idiotic...)

4. It's a poor copy of Layer Cake and Guy Ritchie movies. (I haven't seen Layer Cake but it does remind me of Guy Ritchie's movie Snatch where you have a bunch of characters all after the same thing... but how many different kinds of movies are there like this? LOL... Guy Ritchie doesn't own the rights to the ensemble-action-comedy genre... GTFOH)

5. It's too black. No attempt is made to make the cast diverse. Virtually everyone is either black or Hispanic. I mean, they couldn't even put white people in the bank? (LMAO... seriously, B? So because white movies cast black extras, that means it's a diverse cast? Yeah right... does it really matter that it's not diverse? LOL... do white people have to have a hand in EVERYTHING black people do?)

6. The action scenes are HORRIBLE. A security guard fires a gun a few feet away from the robbers and doesn't hit anything? (Just because you're a security guard doesn't mean you know how to handle a gun... now the OTHER shootout was a little on the "you-serious?" side but it's not the worst I've seen in a movie where 48 people with Uzis will miss one dude at point blank range but he can pick them all off with a semi-automatic... Steven Segal movies ring any bells? Let's be serious...)

7. The humor is terrible. Ha ha, the security guard has a donut, original! (This movie was fucking hilarious... this part wasn't even meant to be funny... these dudes ran into rob a bank and ended up stealing nothing but the security tapes... that's hilarious...)

This movie is a metaphor for the way black Americans run their lives. Not to be racist, but black America is corrupt, juvenile and doesn't have a clue. They can't even be trusted to elect proper leaders that will do a good job. They value crime over legitimate, productive businesses. The crap about them growing up poor is a bunch of bull. They have money, they can start businesses and get out of the hood. They'd rather blow it all on new outfits everyday, cars and other crap instead of putting the money back into their communities. White Democrats should be ashamed of letting them get away with this shit I'm tired of the political correctness, it's time to confront these people about their problems. (I'm sorry what? LMAO... "this movie is a metaphor for the way black Americans run their lives"? So we're either selling drugs, working for UPS or sticking niggas up? REAAALLLY?? Just because you say "not to be racist" doesn't mean you can go on to make a completely false and ignorant blanket statement about how black people live... the fuck outta here with that shit... now I'm not saying that what's said isn't the mindset of SOME black people but the majority of us don't live or think this way... I'm sure it crosses our minds sometimes... I know I think about selling drugs damn near every other week when dealing with this college shit... LOL but I definitely wouldn't say this is the case for most of us... I'm never sure what to think when I hear the statement "put the money back into the community..." What the fuck does that even mean? Am I supposed to start building projects or something? Am I supposed to open up a park in my neighborhood? How does that help me get outta the hood? This last comment: "White Democrats should be ashamed of letting them get away with this shit..." is the most retarded shit I've ever heard... what the hell makes White people so good at running the fucking country? White Democrats have been doing it for the last 200 years and it's not like they've done anything that any other person couldn't have done... I didn't even get mad reading this nonsense because too many people choose to sit behind an anonymous screen name and say some shit that they would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS say out loud... why be a racist on a damn internet movie database forum? LMAO... how big of a loser can you be, son? Ridiculous...)



Ok, now obviously some troll made this because I can't imagine that some dickhead would actually feel this strongly about a movie... but in any event, go pick this up...

W.A.N.T.E.D.

Double-You-Tee-Eff #97

Kansas couple robbed at knifepoint while having sex in dumpster
BY Neil Nagraj
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER



A trashy romance story took a true-crime twist for a Kansas couple who sought privacy in a dumpster to have sex.

While sharing what Wichita cops called an "intimate moment," the man and woman, both 44, were robbed at knifepoint, the Wichita Eagle reports.

A 59-year-old assailant, accompanied by a 64-year-old man who egged him on, robbed the lovers of shoes, jewelry and a wallet last Saturday.

Cops were called and the suspects were apprehended shortly thereafter.

The couple's property was returned.


SOURCE



LOL... few things: 1) Why a dumpster? 2) Who tries to run up on two people having sex in a dumpster? You gotta figure if they're fucking in a trashcan, they don't exactly have a lot of funds readily available... 3) Do people still get robbed at knifepoint? LOL... I mean unless they put it to your throat before you have a chance to get your bearings, I can't imagine how one would just get stuck up for shit with a blade... especially by some senior citizen ass niggas... guess that's how it pops off in Kansas...

Friday, September 18, 2009

Double-You-Tee-Eff #96


I'm kind've speechless on this one... I mean... like... I can't imagine a dude just walks into prison and some dude comes up to him like "yeah, you know I'm getting them cakes right?" and he won't say anything... LOL... I mean, I've never been to prison and don't plan on going but if I were to go, I can't imagine just accepting the fact that I'm about to get ass-raped... LOL... but in any event, I'm only posting this because dude said booty like 46 times in three minutes...

R.I.P. Patrick Swayze


I know I'm incredibly late on this but I found this clip online and just HAD to post it in his memory... this is also one of my favorite Chris Farley moments (R.I.P.)

A Random YouTube Video...

LMAO


Ok, let it be understood that while I have my issues with women, I don't believe what this dude is talking about... I'm only posting this for the last 15 seconds... I have never seen somebody sonned in such a fantastic manner in my life... OMG, my ribs hurt...

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Skinny vs. Fat

When you're skinny, you get away with a million things that you didn't even think about... at least as far as what people think about you...



For example, if a skinny person is carrying a water bottle, people think "they're probably really health-conscious..." if a fat person is carrying a water bottle, people think "damn, his fat ass is probably about to pass out... that's why he has that water..."



If a skinny person is sweating, people think "he must've just come from working out" if a fat person is sweating, people think "why is he sweating so hard? it's not even that hot out here... I guess carrying all that body weight around has a nigga melting away..."



If a skinny person is working out at the gym, people think "they probably work really hard... you can tell by how skinny they are..." if a fat person is working out at the gym, people think "I don't even know why he bothers... he should've been in here 100 pounds ago..."

Double-You-Tee-Eff #95


Yup...

That about sums it up...

Stop Cryin' Rape


By now, I'm sure you've heard about this whole Hofstra situation... for those who haven't, basically, this chick said she got tied up in a bathroom at a party by these two guys who raped her and then three others came into rape her as well... three days later, it turned out to be false... these types of stories irritate me simply because I hear them all too often...

Rape is a serious crime, B... I know of too many friends who've been raped and seen how it's affected them emotionally... so when some hood booger decides to let a dude (or a bunch of dudes) smash only to call "rape" later on, it fucking pisses me off... why can't you just own up to the fact that you've been a smut? I mean, it's sad that whenever I hear a report on the news of a woman getting raped, I automatically think that "she's probably making that shit up..." and it's only because I hear too many stories just like this one... chick lets the whole defensive line beat her guts and then when she realizes what people are going to think of her, she calls rape... and I'm STILL pissed about my homie's cousin that's STILL in jail because this girl's parents caught them fucking and so she wouldn't get in trouble, she decided to yell rape and now he's locked up for some bullshit...

And along the same lines... you, young, fast-ass girls thats like 15 and 16 but look 23, stop lying about your fucking age... all you're doing is making trouble for a nigga who thinks he's fucking a grown woman (I'm not saying this is ALWAYS the case but we ALLLLLLLL know of some little fast-ass teenager who lies about her age to get older dudes...)

This whole situation is incredibly lame... and it also makes it that much harder to prove when a woman actually is raped... and though it may not seem like it, this is my major problem with it... I just want women to be honest when it comes to these types of activities... so a) if you don't want to be labeled a smut, don't let a dude, his best friend, his cousin, three of his uncles and a random homeless man smash all at the same time... b) if you're going to let them do that, then don't call rape later on, thinking it lets you save face... and c) I hope when the truth comes to light, that his sisters and female relatives beat the brakes off that ass...

I'm just sayin'...