Love is For Suckers

I was talking to my friend Nicole today and she said I don't seem to care about relationships... I'm too nonchalant... and I couldn't help but smile because that's exactly the vibe I want to give off right now... for the first time in my life, I'm cool being alone... for the longest time, I assumed life just wasn't complete if you didn't get married, have kids, get a house, dog and the whole nine but just recently I've discovered that being alone is a great thing... now let me get this understood: love is a wonderful thing... everything feels better, looks better, tastes better... love is fucking awesome, but relationships suck...

Now, I'm not going to point out all the great qualities I have because it doesn't bear repeating but I can honestly say, I don't understand women... I don't think anybody really does... women are like Rubik's cubes... they're fun as hell to play with when you first get them... you put up with all the confusion and the bright colors just trying to figure it out... then forty-three minutes later, out of frustration, you just say FUCK IT!!

Too often in my life, relationships prove to be alot of effort with very little reward... it's like working at fucking McDonalds or something... so at the point I'm at in my life, why SHOULD I put forth any effort? Why should I care about relationships? Especially when I'm giving my all just to get nothing in return...?

I don't want people to get it minconstrued that I'm complaining or whining because I'm honestly not... it is what it is... relationships just don't seem to work for me... I met somebody not too long ago and while I feel like it could work I can't help but think, this is just gonna be another dead end... things will be cool for a minute and then it will end... and it's like... with a mindset like that, I shouldn't be in a relationship anyway...

It's not even that I want a girlfriend right now... I just wish I could figure out why I seem to be such bad boyfriend material...